Only Because He IS.....What You Are NOT

Why do you think it is, that the males you feel you are 'attracted' to, just happen to be who you 'wished' you were?

When you are ready to be honest with yourself, you will realize that one or more of the following applies to you:

- You are attracted to masculine males, because you really don't feel as masculine as other guys.

- You are attracted to more muscular or athletic guys, because you 'wished' you had their body.

- You are attracted to a larger or harder penis, because you 'wished' you had a larger or that your penis would get or stay as hard.

- You are attracted to intelligent guys, because you 'wished' that you were as intelligent as you think he is.

- You are attracted to confident guys, because you 'wished' that you were as confident as you think he is.

- You are attracted to guys with respect for themselves, because you 'wished' that you were able to maintain respect for yourself.

- You are attracted to guys who are more stable and successful, because you 'wished' that you were able to have stability and success in your life.

Now if you still think that none of this applies to you, then think about the male images you use to masturbate to. Then pay attention to how the more you masturbate to those 'wished' attributes of another male, the more obsessed you become about those attributes.

Also notice that you must have a steady stream of 'wished' for male attributes to masturbate to for you to maintain your 'attraction' to those male attributes.

And finally, what you may already have figured out is that your only 'attraction' for other males, just may be in the 'attributes' you 'wished' that you had for yourself, and never really an 'attraction' for that other male.

Because no matter how you try to justify it or 'pretend' that your attraction is all mental or based on loving that person, what you will find is what keeps you from finding and maintaining a honest, respectful and lasting relationship with another male, is your desire to have the attributes of another male that you can NEVER have.

So maybe when you ready to stop 'justifying' your actions, or justifying your choice to 'be gay', it just might be time to finally gain an understanding of who you really are.

It's a New Day! Expand your Mind in 2009!

Admiration Confused with Sexual Attraction

You would be surprised at how so many males confuse a sexual attraction with 'Admiration', and this normal admiration becomes why he ends up choosing to be DL, Bi-Sexual, or Gay.

The funny thing about this is that these males were never born bisexual in the first place. They never started out with a sexual attraction for other males, but it was 'learned'.

I am sure you are thinking, 'now how can a person learn to be sexually attracted to another male.?'

Well, it's easier than you would think:

Let's go back in time a bit. As a young boy, there are always other boys around you. In most cases these other boys might be older, bigger, stronger or more confident than you were as a younger boy. Guess what, these are the boys you begin to 'admire', and want to be like based on their attributes.

Not sure about this? Well, try to think about a male who is less masculine, less muscular or stronger, or less confident than yourself.....and honestly ask yourself if you 'admire' that male or want to be like that male? Than answer is consistently no.

Why, because males tend to want the bigger, stronger, faster, taller, more powerful/confident and more popular of everything. From cars, to stereos, flat panel televisions, homes, clothes, jewelery, etc.

This included attributes of another male. Why do you think there are millions of males in gyms spending up to 8 hours a week lifting weights, trying to obtain the arms, chest, back, legs, neck, forearms, calves, butt, or biceps of another male who just happens to have a larger, stronger, more masculine looking version of any of those body parts?

Just look at your own situation. Who are the males you 'feel' attracted to? Why do you go to the gym on a regular basis? Remember, FIT is a word that was created just to justify the obsession with wanting another males body parts. So don't confuse yourself any longer thinking the days and hours you spend in a gym is tied to your health.

It's all about seeking a body image you 'admire' of someone else. And even if you don't spend hours in a gym, just think of the males that you 'admire'. Are they masculine, more muscular/fit/athletic, do they look strong, are they confident??

So how did you begin to confuse basic admiration with a sexual attraction?

This creeps up on so many males in adolescence so innocently, that they don't even realize it's happening. It could be due to the fact that parents are so afraid to talk about sex with their children, that their children create habits all on their own which impact them for a lifetime.

For males, it all starts with masturbation.
Masturbation is a very powerful 'bonding' tool. Whatever he focus' on while masturbating and feeling the intense pleasure of organism, will be 'bonded' with that intense pleasure.

It's funny, but this is why so many guys have fetishes for feet, legs, hands, penis, forearms, and most any body part of their own visible while masturbating and having an orgasm.

Just think about it...the foot fetish is always about the top of the foot. The hand fetish about the top of the hand, the flexed forearm, the flexed muscles of the thigh, and the erect penis.

But for these males, it's all manual. If they stopped masturbating to mental images of other male body parts they admire, or while looking at their own body parts, but focused on mental images of females who they desire, the manual sexual 'bond' with those 'admired' male body parts would continue to decrease and be replaced by his own natural sexual desire for females over a very short period of time.

This is so simple, but so powerful at the same time. It's amazing how quickly manual sexual bonds are created and disconnected.

Next, if he would stop trying to obtain the body parts of another male in gyms that he admires, which only creates a never ending obsession with those body parts. When you think about it, the gym is like the cigarette to the smoker. You can't stop smoking if you keep carrying cigarettes around...you will eventually will smoke again.

The Gym/Fitness industry knows this very well. They know their demographics and understand that if they get the younger male around puberty to start working out in a gym, they have him for a lifetime.

Do you wonder why they let boys of age 14 on the gym floor??
Because at puberty when hormones are raging, and throwing him in a gym with male body parts that he 'admires' and wants for himself so badly, he will eventually begin to masturbate to those body parts. And before he knows it, he now feels 'naturally' attracted to other males.

The problem with most males is that they know so little about their own sexuality, and if they get an erection, it means they are sexually attracted to that thing or person, when it's more about a body part or characteristic of a person that is the cause of the attraction.

Test yourself....see if it's true for you

Try the 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge.
- No Porn
- No Gym
- No Masturbation
- No Men's Workout Magazines
- No Gay Web/Sex Sites
- No Hooking up with your male sex buddies
- No Gay Clubs/bars/events
- Avoid Your Committed Gay Friends

What you will notice during that 10 day period is that your 'natural' male sexual attraction for females will get stronger, as your 'manual' attraction for other male body parts begin to weaken. And if MUST masturbate 'after' the 10 day detox, then ONLY masturbate to images of females you desire, and not even your own body parts.

Your Future:
What you will begin to realize is that your options for the future open up for you, because you are no longer driven by your manual body part/image obsession with other males. And now you can truly begin to 'be' who you really are, and not who you masturbated yourself into.

And your options for a mate can now be based on the person, and not who who you 'wished' you were, or a desire body part or greater level of masculinity than your own.

Have You Been Tested??

Do you ever think about the fact that so many males must focus on being 'tested' for sexually transmitted diseases, primarily because they are 'choosing' to have sexual activity with so many other males?

Just think about this for a minute:
Would you have a need to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases if you weren't choosing to have have sex with so many people you did not know?

That logic seems to have gone lost of many males who are caught in the web of 'being gay' and sexual activity being their 'identity', which they feel they must continue because it's 'who' they are.

Does that make any sense to you?
On thousands of profiles on the hundreds gay male sex websites, males try and find some level of pride in the fact that they are able to have promiscuous sex on a regular basis, but state they have not contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

Could the chosen 'lifestyle' that is based on promiscuous sexual activity, be the root cause for the steady increasing rate of sexually transmitted diseases among these males? All based on 'chosen' sexual activity. It's all a CHOICE.


What if you HONESTLY asked yourself a few basic questions before you made your choice?

- What if you choose 'not' to have promiscuous sexual activity with strangers on a regular or irregular basis that required consistent testing?

- What if you didn't hope and wish that he was not infected with a disease?

- What if you choose not participate in activity, that required constant testing to diagnose 'when' you will contract a sexually transmitted disease?

- What if you choose not to ignore your common sense, and continue to have sex with another male you 'know' is having promiscuous sex with other males?

- What if you choose not to believe any other male based on what he tells you about his STD Status?

- What if you didn't try to blame the 'other' male for being deceitful about his STD Status?

- What if you didn't try to blame the other male for having promiscuous sex, when he's doing the exact same thing that now has you infected?

- What if you focused on regaining your self respect, so that you would not have a need for promiscuous sex with strangers?

- What if you didn't continue to try and justify a 'lifestyle' based on the exact sexual behavior that will soon have you infected with a STD?

- What if you made better choices for your life with a future in mind?

There is ALWAYS a reason:
So maybe the next time you see a profile on the web, or a guy boasts about being 'tested', or who is actively or 'willing' to have promiscuous sex with you who he does not know.......just remember that there is a reason why he needs to be tested on a regular basis.

Think real hard on that fact before you choose to have sex with that person. And if you 'choose' to have sex with that person, it's all on you, because you already know why.

Whether the real test is whether or not you are 'choosing' the actions that requires testing for STD in the first place.

It's a New Day! Expand Your Mind in 2009

Seriously Committed to Being Gay......Seriously?

A conversation I had with an older white 'out gay' male who said more than he intended.

In an attempt to justify his many years of promiscuous sexual behavior, he now felt that he would be a hypocrite if he entertained any views about himself, outside of what he has adopted as 'being' gay, or his chosen gay lifestyle, tied to sexual obsession/addiction.

This was very interesting. Because like many other males, he has become trapped under the gay umbrella, and it is only in his mind or based on the approval of the 'group' that he has joined, that keeps him there. He felt that if he changed his life, it would be a rejection of all that he has stood for or claimed to 'be' for so many years.

Gay, religion and gangs.
As mentioned in previous articles, it's very clear that the 'belief' in being gay and the 'belief' in many religions, and gang membership are very much alike.

- Each are committed to a 'concept' that has no basis, besides what other people told them about themselves and their world.

- Each are resistant to gain any knowledge outside of the very limited concepts that hold their perceived world together.

- When either group go to the extreme with their 'belief', they are the most unhappy and dysfunctional people you would ever want to meet.

- When any member tries to leave the group, they are attacked by members of that same group.

Why is this happening?
So what is it about the people of these two groups. Just maybe what's common among them is themselves, and not the group at all?

Individuals that are alone or lonely, or who don't feel part of the larger society, or who feel rejected by even those closest to them, tend to seek refuge in groups, clicks or gangs is you will.

The mentality is the same. Adopt a behavior or 'lifestyle' based on being unlike everyone else, which causes them to exaggerate their difference even more than they started. Which in turn has them even rejected by members of their own group in the end.

Either way, it's a failed plan, tied to an attempt to run from the unknown or what's not understood about themselves. And instead of seeking answers, they give up and crowd under the same umbrella as many other lonely, lost and rejected souls needing help, not cover.

Just because you call yourself gay, doesn't mean you are happy.
They can pretend they are happy all they want, but just look at their lives, and what their future holds for them. Do you see anything to be happy about?

The false concept of doing the best with what they have, is only trying to carry a snowball in your hands, in the summertime. You can't advance by doing the same thing and getting the same results and just existing. Unless that's all your life is to be about.

Choosing to be whores(unpaid), and prostitutes(paid), tends to be the resulting life. Many try to justify this by attempting to compare their actions with those non-gay men and women, who are also rejected based on their sex based lifestyles. Some how in their logic, it's OK to be a whore or prostitute, if someone else is doing it also. This is where you play back the story your mother told you about jumping off a bridge if your friend did it.

But it doesn't have to be this way.
What so many males have not understood is that if they would only begin to seek knowledge about how they were born, about their attraction for the same sex, along with an attraction for the opposite sex.

If they would ask themselves more questions as to:
- Why and how he became 'more' attracted to the same gender over time?
- Why is it that they are really only attracted to males more masculine
- Why is it that is really only attracted to males more muscular than himself?
- Why is it that the more masculine, more muscular males are never really attracted to him...or not for long?
- Why can't he build lasting friendships with males without having to masturbate with them
- Why does he avoid thinking about his future, his 40s, 50s, 60s...

And maybe the most important question of all would be:
If his current lifestyle was not his choice, then who's making him do it?

If It's Not a Choice, Who's Making You Do It?

Have you noticed how it seems most committed gay and Biologically Bisexual males, are just going through the motions in their lives?

- They go through online profiles of other males, not looking for anything.

- They just met guys with nothing in common, just to have something to do.

- They are committed to being a term, and they don't even know what it means.

- They post naked images of themselves on websites that no one asked to see.

- They spend so much time trying to 'be' what a group told them to be, they don't even know who they are as individuals outside of the group.

- They masturbate with other guys because they are bored or lonely.

- They get high constantly so they don't have to think or feel anything.

- They have sex 'activity' with groups of guys because they are tired of pretending to be interested in one guy.

- They call themselves a term that means happy, but they are anything but that.

- They modify their physical appearance to gain attention, just any kind of attention.

- They are rejected by other males, so they degrade themselves sexually, which guarantees they will continue to be rejected.

- They try to see pain as pleasure, so they can feel something after years of constant masturbation.

- They have no life plan, because they haven't begun to live their life yet.


So there is the question:

If your lifestyle is not a 'choice'........then who's making you do it?????????

It's a New Day....Expand Your Mind In 2009!

2 Primary Reasons You Can't Find Friends....

Biologically Bisexual males have the most difficult time establishing and maintaining friendships and an even more difficult time establishing and maintaining intimate relationships as well.

A majority of the reasons for these difficulties, is his not understanding that he is biologically bisexual, and not understanding how to manage both his male and female aspects.

Friendships with other males fail mostly because:

1. His female aspect is always looking for more masculinity than he has within himself

2. His male aspect is always looking for a body image that he 'admires' and wants for himself.

So the result is that when he thinks he is seeking a friendship, he is actually trying to meet the masculinity requirement of his female aspect, along with the body image requirement of his male aspect.

He then exaggerates both requirements with consistent masturbation to the body images of more masculine and muscular males than himself.

The result of the consistent masturbation is:
- His female aspect will require an an even higher level of masculinity than his own, which has him automatically rejected by the other biologically bisexual male who is doing the same thing.

- His male aspect will require an even more muscular body image, because he will begin to try and obtain that body image in gyms by lifting weights obsessively. But he will still be rejected or used for his body and rejected, because even if the other biologically bisexual male is attracted to his body image or body parts, he will still reject him based on his level of masculinity that his own female aspect sees not masculine enough.

However, when the biologically bisexual male learns to balance his male and female aspects by:
- Learning more about his own biologically bisexual birth

- Understanding that his biologically bisexual birth has little to do with sex and sexuality

- Learning how to harness the natural born skills and abilities born of him by being born more mentally male and female and single gender males and females do not have within themselves.

- Limiting his masturbation to more muscular and more masculine body images

- Not restricting friendships to only biologically bisexual males

- Not restricting his potential for intimate relationships to only biologically bisexual males

- Not attempting to create a lifestyle based on sexual activity and his exaggerated 'attraction' for other males

- Not allowing a group or the media define who he is, capitalizing on his initial confusion about human sexuality.

- Take the "10 Day Sex Detox Challenge" so you can gain a glimpse of what life was like, before you created your exaggerated attraction and obsession for an upgrade.

Then his whole world opens up.

He no longer has a need to hide under the gay umbrella of shame, because he knows that it is not 'who' he is

He is able to become part of out society as a whole, because he no longer is living his life based on sexual desire and activity

He no longer has a need to restrict friendships based on sexual desire or body image

He no longer has a need to restrict his ability to build personal intimate relationships with others based on gender.

Give Yourself A Chance!

Nuts and Bolts...but not what you think..

Ok, I have to get this out there, because most guys into homosexual type of sexual activity tend to forget this little fact.

Since this is a general audience blog, I will replace anus with Nuts, and penis with Bolts.

Have you noticed that 'traditional' homosexual type sexual activity has become licking what comes out of Nuts, and sucking what comes out of Bolts. Could this also be why even other 'gay' or males who participate in homosexual type sexual activity have a hard time even respecting each other, never mind not even thinking of seeking the respect of the rest of our society.

Many of these males try to justify their nuts and bolts activity by the already rejected aspect of our society that participate in heterosexual type sexual activity. But that they fail to recognize is that they are basing their 'lifestyle' on a plan that has already failed. So it's not rocket science to understand how by them committing the similar activity, that they would be rejected also.

The diseases:
Then it's all the diseases that he exposes himself to. Not just normal sexual transmitted diseases, but feces and urine related diseases that are popular among the many males who participate in Nuts and Bolts activity. There is no way humanly possible to clean all of the feces residue from the Nut, or urine from the Bolt, no matter how much you want to think it's not there. Like dogs, you are eating feces and drinking urine every time you take part.

Ok, let's take society out of the picture.
Ask yourself, would you want to kiss someone that you know put their tongue in Nuts, or their mouth on the Bolts of many other males before you?

Remember....You Are What You Eat!

So how does the biologically bisexual male have sexual intimacy with another male, without losing his self respect and degrading himself in the eyes of anyone that he 'admires' or would like to have as a make, but who rejects him?

Well, he can start by rejecting the idea that sucking on Bolts and sticking his tongue inside the Nuts of other males he is not committed to.

Then he can regain much of his self respect by rejecting the idea of sticking his tongue inside the Nut of another male, whether he is committed to him or not. No one will respect a person who they see licking anyone else's Nut. PERIOD!

What may confuse the many males about this issue, is their consistent viewing of porn on the web, on DVD or in magazines. Even the desperate males on gay sex sites offer service to your Nut, because they have already been rejected by males in the real world.

And just maybe if you tried to stop the consistent masturbation to those images, you would begin to open your eyes to the truth of the situation.

So what's the point?

Now ask yourself....could your sexual activity be one of the primary reason why no other male would want to be with you....a second time.