Sexual DIS-Satisfaction

Human beings, just like any other animal, needs basic natural sexual activity or sexual intercourse to complete their sexual fulfillment. When he or she lacks that sexual intercourse, the individual becomes out of balance.

Masturbation, masturbation, masturbation:
Due to an inability to attract the opposite sex or a lack of desire for the opposite sex, many males and females tend to resort to self stimulation or masturbation as a 'substitute' for sexual intercourse.

This masturbation can include but is not limited to self masturbation, masturbation by others, or masturbation inside, on top of, or against another person body or body parts. Any type of self stimulation is only masturbation when two sex organs are not connected to complete the sexual intercourse.

Simulated sexual intercourse:
The result of an inability to obtain sexual intercourse, the male tends to try all sorts of activities in an effort to 'simulate' the feeling of sexual intercourse. The result is that he will try to manually stimulate most every aspect of his body trying to reach the sexual fulfillment that can only be achieved through actual sexual intercourse between two sex organs.

You may have noticed that the side effect of his failed efforts, is that he will not only try to stimulate most every aspect of his body, but then will seek 'volume' sexual activity hoping that a different sexual partner or groups of sexual partners will meet his sexual need. But it still does not work.

Pain as pleasure:
Eventually he begins to see pain as pleasure in an effort to be able to connect an emotion to his self stimulation. He will even seek other males in an effort to inflict pain on him, that he then tries to connect with sexual enjoyment. But even that does not work long term, as he will need to suffer more and more pain.

Other not into pain, tend to see humiliation by the one he 'admires' as some sort of sexual stimulation. But this again is only a side effect of his inability or lack of desire to actually procreate or have natural sexual intercourse with another human.

This issue has been clearly tied to the fact that many males, not understanding that they are born Biologically Bisexual, will try 'restrict' all of his sexual activity to only masturbation alone or with another male in a variety of ways.

The result:
So what tends to happen is that if he is driven by sexual desire, he will tire of any one male quickly, and require a steady stream of masturbation partners in an attempt to reach basic human sexual satisfaction.

However, biologically bisexual males who have been able to balance their male and female aspects, and who are not driven by sexual desire/activity, are able to naturally find an outlet for sexual satisfaction every human needs, male or female.

So if you ever wondered why you keep having to find different ways to masturbate, even with a partner or partners, you now know that it doesn't matter how many other males, how masculine, how muscular he is.

It's always going to be about you, trying to 'simulate' sexual intercourse and only being able to get 'simulated' sexual satisfaction.

Still Think You Were Born Gay???

Have you given much thought to the fact that for quite a few males, his 'attraction' to other males, tends to be associated power, strength and a desired body or body parts.

Well, there is a reason for this:
- As children, males 'admire' other males who are bigger, taller, stronger, more popular, who drive flashy cars, and who have flashy clothing because they want to be like them.

- They grow up wanting to be big strong firemen because they get to wear the big red hat and drive the big red fire truck and make all the noise as they go put out fires, and help people.

- They grow up wanting to be big strong policemen because they get to wear a uniform, get a badge and a gun, and they get to stop the robbers and save the day.

- They grow up wanting to be big strong famous athletes who hit home runs and make touchdowns, and everyone likes them because they helped win the game.

- They grow up wanting to be big and strong like their fathers or other adult males in their lives, who can pick them up and throw them in the air, who protects them from the bad guys, who can do everything better than anyone else's father.

- As they get older, they want to be like the older kids in the neighborhood, the bigger boys, the stronger boys, the more popular boys in school, and the boys that are able to get the popular girls.

However, still wanting to 'be' like the strong, powerful and popular males they have admired all their lives, when these males reach puberty where his hormones are out of control, everything becomes sexual to him.

And masturbation begins...
So now those more powerful, stronger, bigger more popular males he admired all throughout childhood, become his images for masturbation.

But why not females??
Because up to this time, very little or no focus was placed on females. He never wanted to 'be' a female or admired their attributes or wanted to grow up to be like them. All his focus was on 'being' the strong fireman, policeman, athlete or like his father or father figure.

However, because he is still a male, he still has a natural attraction for females. Many of these guys try to go with those attractions. He may date females, try to create girlfriends, but he can never stay focused on the female, and even she becomes frustrated. So he tends to 'play the field' where he won't date any female for long, so that he is sure nothing will come from it.

Why does he do this?
Because each night and most mornings, he maintaining his 'manual' sexual bond with male images through masturbating to the images of those male images he admired as a child. Now as an adolescent, he is overwhelming his natural male attraction for females, with consistent masturbation to bigger, stronger male body images he 'admires' and wants for himself.

At this point he is confused. He can't understand why he has such a strong 'sexual' bond for other males, but even though he is attracted to females, he just doesn't have as strong of a sexual 'bond' with them as he does for other males.

What he doesn't realize is that his consistent masturbation, morning, noon, and night, to those 'admired' stronger, bigger, more popular male body images, he is drowning out his natural sexual attraction for females.

So as a result:
Even though he still feels attracted to females, he either decides to take a break from females, so he can understand where his attraction for males lead him. And with the very heavy marketing for 'being' gay, he begins to see himself as 'gay'. Because he really has no other answer to why he is now 'more' attracted to males than he is to females.

After many years, he has forgotten what it was like before he became gay. His life is filled with so many masturbation aids, that they are core to his 'lifestyle'. He spends so much time 'defending' his lifestyle as normal for him, and not a choice, that it's become more of a campaign than a life.

No matter how much he builds his body image to be like those males he admires, there is always another male with a 'better' body. So back to the gym, the protein powder, the super growth pills, the dieting to try to obtain that image so he will be attracted to you.

It seems that the body images you want, never really want you, so you settle for body images you know you are better than. You lower your standards to masturbate with one of them when horny or lonely, or bored. But it's back to work, because you know you can have that body image of the males you admire, since that's what you are 'attracted' to.

After several friendship/relationship attempts, and many years later, you figure out that the problem is really with all the 'other' males, who don't want to commit to one person. But as you get older, and less of what they 'admire', you understand that you must try harder. Because you are Gay and it's who you are, and you had no choice in the matter.

Now, lets back up to when the masturbation began. Since every person is different and has different life experiences. Only you can be the judge here. But could it be that all these years, you have only been maintaining a manual sexual 'bond' with other 'admired' stronger, bigger, more muscular, more confident male images through your consistent masturbation to those images??

What do you think would happen if you stopped all the masturbating to those 'admired' images? This is scary for many males, because if they can't 'be' gay, then how do they justify their sexual activity for so many years.

But the question is would you want to continue a lifestyle that could be based on a distorted attraction/obsession for attributes of another male, that you can never have?

Test Yourself
What could it hurt. Take The 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge, so you can get an idea of what your life was like, before' you became emerged in all that is 'gay'.

Very much like those who detox from drugs or alcohol, you just might be surprised at 'who' you really are, once you begin to live free from the bondage that you may have adopted as a lifestyle.


It's a new year, a new day, and just maybe a new you...

The Commitment Agreement

Could it be that the many Biologically Bisexual males have such a hard time with Friendships, Dating and Committed Relationships is because they skip over the friendship, in a mad rush for the Committed Relationship?

What these males don't realize is that they are NOT like a single gender male or female. So they can't use a single gender male or female model to try and build a friendship, to date or to establish a committed relationship with another Biologically Bisexual/Duel Gender male.

Here is why:
Being born biologically bisexual, you are both mentally male and female to some extent. And with your duel gender birth, you must learn to balance both your male and female aspects as it relates to natural attraction, skills and abilities.

For instance, if the biologically bisexual male does not balance his female aspect, 'she' will begin to dominate his male aspect, become obsessive about more masculinity than his own and reject his male sexuality and take on a more female or submissive role sexually.

This is counter productive, because the other biologically bisexual male is also both male and female, and to some extent, his female aspect will naturally seek the masculinity of a male to be submissive with. This does not mean intercourse, but submission in whatever way it works for the male.

The end result is that either bisexual male will continue his search until he is able to have the needs of both his male and female aspect met, from a sexual and mental perspective.

The Friendship
This is why focusing on establishing respectful and trusting friendships or male bonds, with other males is so important. This male bond is what's necessary to to maintain the relationship between the two male aspects of their duel gender identity. Along with male bonds with any other male that's not duel gender.

What's just as important is the respectful and trusting friendship or female bond between their two female aspects. Along with female bonds with any other female that's not duel gender.

Remember, neither of those 'bonds' include sexual activity, it's about 'connecting' with males and females on a mental level, where you common interests, morals and values are in balance. Connecting with 'people' that you 'admire' for their minds, thoughts and ideas, and who help you expand and grow your many 'duel' talents and abilities as a duel gender male who is to some extent both male and female mentally.

This friendship bond component is very important, because without this in place 'before' you think about 'dating' another duel gender male, you won't have a 'foundation' to base your potential relationship on, besides base sexual attraction and being horny.

That is why it is important to seek 'friends' not based on their sexual preferences, whether they are biologically bisexual or single gender of male or female. But choose friends based on common interest and basic morals and values. What grows from this respectful and balanced friendship is the potential for dating. It takes months of consistent contact for this to happen, not days, weeks or hours.

Wating to have sex should not be a 'challenge' if the respect, trust and mutual interest is there. But if either of you cannot' wait at least a month to have sex, then you should know that the friendship concept, is only a pathway to another sexual partner. Who will soon loose interest and begin to seek another sexual partner.

Dating:
Only after you have established a respectful, trusting and balanced friendship bond, only then if there is interest on both parts, should the idea of dating come into play. Remember, it's not a one sided event. Just because you are 'attracted' to another person, it doesn't mean they are, and your 'advances' could turn the other person off.

However, if you spend the valuable quality time to get to know the person and there is a natural bond between the two of you, male or female, then you have more of a foundation that can handle a sexual advance that is not reciprocated. If open honesty is the core of your 'friendship' with the other person, they would respect your honestly about dating.

Committed Relationships:
Only after considerable dating and a very clear and often times written agreement of behavior and commitment, would you want to embark on a committed relationship with another person.

The biggest mistake many duel gender or single gender men and women make is the lack of 'clarity' before embarking on the committed relationship.

One major issue is that without clarity, and even a written 'agreement' between the two of them, that spells out their intentions, what's acceptable and what is not, in plain words, the 'idea' of the committed relationship could be vastly different between the two parties.

Even taking the time to create a Committed Relationship Agreement helps the two individuals walk through aspects of their relationship between each other, that they might not think about heading into a relationship.

For Biologically Bisexual males, some of the self destructive issues are:
- Is porn allowed for masturbation to 'other' male bodies than your mate?
- Do you continue to go to gay bars where the focus is to find a mate?
- Do you continue to work out in gyms where you continue to obsess over other males bodies?
- Do you allow access to gay porn and gay sex websites?
- Do you continue to have your sex buddies in your life?

Many of these issues are not thought about, but are at the core of why so many committed relationships between biologically bisexual males end.

A few other non sexual aspects are:
- Communication rules
- Decision making that impacts both parties
- Living arrangements
- Money matters
- Friends and their impact

Those are just a few examples to get you started with your agreements.

I would suggest writing it all out, making changes and additions until you both agree on the the core components. Let it set for a week, meet again and revise and update, then both sign the document, and both of you keep a copy of the document with your personal papers.

Manage Your Agreement:
Then at the one month mark, three month mark, six month mark and 1 year mark, pull out the agreement and revise as needed. There alwasy tends to be something that needs to be added or removed to make your committed relationship work. After the first year, you should have a well thought out and established agreement that's able to help you maintain your committed relationship for a lifetime.

Remember, committed relationships between two biologically bisexual/duel gender males are not supposed to have an expiration date. And more failed relationship attempts is not a good thing, but only stressed that you are making the same mistakes again and again.

Communicate:
It is amazing how important it is to communicate your expectations with another person, if they are to be part of your life.

Understanding that if you or your partner feels this step is too much trouble, or they are not interested, or don't want to go through the effort of writing everything down, then just maybe a committed relationship is not for you or the other male.

You never want to push anyone into a commitment with you, that they are not willing to do so freely, because in the end, only you will be interested in honoring the commitment.

Going Through the Sexual Motions...

I find it amazing at how many males I talk to that state that much of the sexual activity the end up participating in, is less than fulfilling, and more of something to go through because he thinks it's what the other male wants.

The Anticipation...
Overwhelmingly, the males who comment on this issue state that the 'idea' and 'anticipation' of potential sexual activity with an 'imaginary' male, is much more fulfilling for them, than the actual sexual activity with the male he has sex with in the real world.

Most of the males state that it's because the male he ends up having sex with, never really meets the standards of the male in his 'imagination'.

Other males state that the 'sex' aspect tens to be only a shaking of hands, to get it out of the way, to see if they can be sexually compatible, and then to find if they have anything in common, or have a potential for even a friendship.

In the vast majority of these cases, the sex is lacking, and there is always something wrong. His body is either less muscular than 'imagined', his penis is smaller than 'imagined', or the sexual activity was less fulfilling than 'imagined'.

However, the 'attraction' for the less masculine/submissive of the two, is the other males greater level of masculinity, with the 'anticipation' of a more muscular body and larger penis. And for the more masculine/dominate male, the less masculine male turns out to be a 'compromise, because he was bored or horny. 9 times out of 10, as soon as the more masculine male ejaculates, he looses most of his 'attraction' or interest in the less masculine male.

The Result...
The result is that the more masculine/dominate male will want to remove himself from the less masculine/submissive male as quickly as possible. He will agree to most anything as far as phone calls or other meetings until he is able to escape. The less masculine of the two becomes frustrated and cries 'games' as the more masculine male will continue his search for his own more masculine male.

Why does this happen?
It's all because both males do not understand that they are both born biologically bisexual and if he lets his female aspect dominate him, he will subject himself to much trauma during his lifetime, by letting his 'emotional' aspect dominate his logical aspect, which allows him to be used for a sexual release, time and time again.

Once he is able to balance his male and female aspects, and not let his female aspect dominate him, only then will be be able to provide the other biologically bisexual male what he needs to meet both his male and female aspects, and not try to 'simulate' being a female in a man's clothing.

Confusing Gay Identity Concepts....

Most males who feel attracted to other males, are so confused that they don't know 'what' or 'who' they are when trying to find an identity tied to sexual activity.

Let's take a look at a few common 'gay' concepts:

- Straight males who go gay for money
Biologically Bisexual males who have sex with females, but has sex with males for money.

- Straight males having gay sex
Biologically Bisexual males who have heterosexual type sex, along with homosexual type sex.

- Straight acting males
Biologically Bisexual males who are more naturally masculine, who do not allow his female aspect to dominate where he would have exhibit exaggerated feminine behavior.

Remember, there is biologically 'gay' people or type of sex, as gay is only the group name for people who have sexual differences, sexual confusion, sexual addiction or dysfunction when the sex is between two of the same gender.

However anyone who choose to join the 'gay' group is 'able' to have both homosexual and heterosexual 'types' of sex at any time.

So you may want to pay more attention to who or what you 'choose' to be. A little knowledge goes along way to help you avoid basing your lifestyle on ignorance.

Wasting Time....a lifestyle choice

Have you noticed how many 'gay' spend most of their awake hours either in gyms or on online gay 'dating' websites?

The average 'gay' males works out at least 3 days a week. He spends on average 3 hours each time preparing for the workout, driving to the location, working out, and heading back home.

That's 9 hours a week of his life tied to the process of trying obtain the body image of another male he is attracted to, but will consistently be rejected by.

Let's break this down a bit more:
We are only awake an average of 18 hours a day. That means that ever two weeks, he spends a full day of awake time in a gym. Within a month(4 weeks), he spends 2 full days of awake in that effort to gain another males body image.

Two days lost each month. 24 Days Each Year!!

Next is the enormous amount of time 'gay' males spend on the internet searching for someone who might want to be with them, or at least have sex with them. On average the 'gay' males will spend 4 to 6 hours logged onto gay dating/sex sites. What tends to keep them there is the abundance of free porn offered on the gay 'dating/sex sites, by the marketing of additional porn, and those other 'gay' males who offer themselves as porn for attention.

For most 'gay' males, this can be over 30 hours a week, logged on or searching gay dating/sex sites hoping to find someone willing to have sex or the remote possibility of a friendship, after sex.

It all adds up..
Now taking the the 32 hours he spends on trying to create the body image of another male, and the 120 hours he spends online at gay dating/sex sites searching for that other male, he spends on average 150 hours trying to obtain a desired body image or searching for someone to have sex with each month.

This is over 9 days of awake time per Month!!

Here is the interesting part. 99% of the males obsessed with his body image or who is obsessed with obtaining the body image or body parts of another male, will be rejected by that other male, because he is doing the same thing, trying to 'upgrade' his own body image or body parts.

What the 'gay' male also does not realize is that the males he searches for on the internet, are the same males he was already rejected by in the real world. It doesn't matter if he takes a picture that makes him 'seem' more muscular, more masculine, or use makeup to make himself look better, he is still rejected once again in the real world by the 'same' males who rejected him in the first place, that drove him online to the gay sex/dating websites.

Even if he chooses to give up his basic morals, values and personal ethics, get naked on the web, expose himself on the world wide web, and even offer himself for sex services, he is rejected even quicker because he doesn't even get the opportunity to meet the person for a live rejection, he is rejected by the click of the mouse. (CLICK!)

Why is he stuck in this never ending cycle?
When the biologically bisexual/intersex/duel gender male does not understand his duel gender, and the side effects or is able to balance both his male and female aspects, they become in conflict with each other, and he is just taken along for the ride.

- His female aspect continues to seek a male more masculine than his own male aspect. So he seeks males more masculine, who will see him less masculine and reject him.

- His male aspect continues to seek a male body image he 'wants' for himself, so he spends countless hours in gyms trying to 'obtain' the body image or body parts of the admired male.

However, along the way, he masturbates to those more masculine more muscular body images, and exaggerates his females desire for even more masculinity, and his male aspect for an even more muscular body image or male body parts.

The end result is a male seeking much more masculinity and a much more muscular body image than his own natural body, so he is stuck in a never ending cycle of obsessing over males that are guaranteed to reject him, because they may be doing the 'exact' same thing....trying to Upgrade.

He becomes bored ...even with himself
However, the greatest side effect of this cycle, is that of the 9 days a month he is stuck cycling, he is not putting any effort into building himself into a person that anyone would want to be with, even himself. He tends to have no real hobbies, no interests, not up to date on current events, and most can't actually pay any sports. Most tend to only watch TV, eat, workout, go to movies, masturbate and chill.

The result of not building himself into a whole or even an 'interesting' person that others want to communicate with , be around and in most cases unable to earn their respect, is that even if he met another male who wanted to be with him, all they would have in common would be an obsession over masculinity, body image or body parts, and masturbation.

So they meet, maybe eat, watch TV or a movie, masturbate and lose all interest. So it's back to the search.

But until he understands 'why' he feels attracted to other males, and gains an understanding of his biological bisexual/intersex or duel gender birth, the endless cycle is what he can expect for a long time coming.

Wasting time, not expecting anything, not taking his search seriously, chillin......

Think about this....does it sound like you?

Relationships....male, female or Both?

We have all grown up knowing that relationships and marriages were between a man or a women.

Over the years as more males and females are bring born biologically bisexual/intersex, we are slowly moving toward more accepted relationships and marriage between two men or two women.

As we progress through this cycle of growth and understanding around love between men and women, the next logical step may be not with a focus on single gender, but on duel genders, where relationships between two bisexual males and one single gender female, or two bisexual females and one single gender male, may bring about the most balance.

How could this be?
Well, understanding that the bisexual male 'naturally' will be attracted to males and females. It only males sense that his relationship includes both a male and female.

The benefits of this type of relationship are that:
- Both males are able to meet the 'natural' an biological needs of both his female and male aspects from a mental, spiritual and sexual perspective.

- The female being able to have her natural mental, spiritual and sexual needs met

- Both males and the female are able to have children and raise a stable family

The same benefits weigh in when there is one male and two females. Both females will be able to 'naturally' have both their male and female aspects met, along with the single gender male, and they would be able to bear children and raise a family.

It's all about balance:
No longer would a duel gender male or female have to 'choose' between meeting the 'natural' needs of his or her male or female aspect, but be able to be completely balanced in a stable, open and honest strong relationship that meets the needs of all three individuals in the committed relationship.

Also under certain laws, the rights of all three would be tied to the fact that they are all parents of children between them, even though marriage would currently not be an option because of polygamy laws.

However with biologically bisexual males this type of relationship would enable him to become more of a whole person, while not restricting who he is 'able' or 'allowed' to love, solely based on gender, but the 'individuals' that he loves and is able to commit to.

Interesting concept....what are your thoughts?

Bottom Failures......

Of the many males I talk to over the years, there is no group that complains more about other males playing 'games' than those committed to being a 'bottom'.


Speaking to these males, it seems all of the problems, issues attached to living a 'gay' lifestyle and their inability to obtain a boyfriend or a lasting committed relationship, is the fault of those 'top' or 'vers' males that only want to use them for sex.

The Bottom Commitment:
What the many 'committed' bottom males don't understand is that their choice to reject their male sexuality, and allow his female aspect to dominate him sexually, he is then only half of the person that the other duel gender/bisexual/intersex 'top' males needs to satisfy both his own male and female aspects.

The result is that that 'top' male, no matter how much he 'wants' to be committed to you, will need to find his own male to be submissive with in one way or another. This does not mean that he needs to have intercourse with another male, but he needs a male that he is able to see as masculine enough to dominate him.

This is why most biologically bisexual/intersex males focus on a male who is 'masculine, athletic, muscular, unclockable, a regular guy, someone like me, one of the boys. But males that commit to be bottom, try to hang on to the false concept that it's 'what I like' or 'it's who I am'.

Not out in the cold:
However, this does not mean that the naturally less masculine male is out in the cold. What's important to understand is that when the male has balanced his male and female aspects, his natural attraction will be for males very close in masculinity to himself. The attempt to 'upgrade' on masculinity is reduced greatly, because his female aspect is not rejecting his male aspect to such an extreme manner.

The body image obsession is exaggerated due to excessive masturbation to body images or body parts the male wants for himself. Once he stops masturbating to those images, and trying to obtain those images in a gym, or looking at them on the internet or in exercise magazines, he is able to balance his physical body image.

Take the challenge:
The 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge is a good way to begin to balance your male and female aspects, so you have a more balanced look at who you were, before the obsession begin. Most males are very surprised at how their 'attractions' change in many ways, once they stop manually stimulating themselves to create a exaggerated sexual 'bond' with mental images of other male body images and body parts they desire for themselves.

It's your choice. You can continue to try and upgrade your masculinity, continue to reject your male sexual aspect, continue to blame the more masculine and or muscular males you feel attracted to for not wanting to be with you long term, or you can begin to balance both your male and female aspects, so you can be more of who you really are, from the inside out.

Males Exaggerating Femininity....

Once of the most complained about issue with biologically bisexual/intersex males is that they are not attracted to overly feminine males.

Now what's 'overly' feminine for one male will be different than another, since what he sees as feminine is based on how much more masculinity his female aspect seeks greater than his own.

Remember, biologically bisexual/intersex males are both mentally male and female, and his female aspect will 'naturally' seek males more masculine than her own male aspect. It's always going to be an upgrade. However, the more he masturbates to more masculine, more muscular body images, the more of a masculinity and body image 'upgrade' his female aspect will expect.

Ok, back to exaggerated femininity.

The majority of the overly feminine males don't even realize that they are 'acting' in such a manner. This is because his female aspect which has a male aspect attached, overcompensates for her masculine side.

So these males tend to be 'larger than life' feminine. Many of them attach themselves to larger than life feminine actresses and singers when in their 'entertainment' personality. 'Over the top' with femininity, actions, speaking, dress, body decorations, etc.

Essentially trying to become a reflection of the make believe image of a the female, never meant for a real world life or a lifestyle tied to the make believe world.

But how does a male get to the point where he is exaggerating more femininity?
1. As a younger male, tries to fit a stereotype of what he thinks it means to 'be' gay and accepted by those in the gay group.

2. Tries to fill the role of a female in an effort to attract more masculine males.

3. Tries to ensure other females know that he is not attracted to them, so he doesn't have to tell them he is attracted to men, and deal with their potentially negative response.

4. He knows he has a feminine aspect, and through excessive and consistent masturbation to the more masculine male images he 'desires' for himself, his female aspect dominates him, and he ignores his male aspect, which throws him off balance.

It's the same story, over and over again...
We see this play out consistently with biologically bisexual or intersex males who still do not understand 'why' he feels attracted to other males.

The result tends to be the same. He modifies his body image to 'simulate' more femininity:
- Arching and plucking eyebrows

- Polishing fingernails, whether clear or not

- Wearing more feminine colors and clothing

- Wearing more feminine type hairstyles

- Wearing more jewelry or dangling jewelry

- Claiming to be in fashion so his female clothing can be seen as 'fashionable'

- Claiming to be a model due to an exaggerated self image tied to his feminine modifications

The Outcome
But sadly, all the effort tied to exaggerated femininity, is rejected my the majority of the more masculine males his female aspect is attracted to. This is very simply because his female aspect is 'naturally' attracted to masculinity 'greater' than his own.

Which even more sadly, leaves the 'exaggerated feminine' male to be either used by non-bisexual males who are obsessed with sexual activity and look for a 'simulated' female for an outlet, and then back to his girlfriend or wife that he loves, or by the non-bisexual male who has been rejected by females for one reason or another.

But it does not have to be this way.
If biologically bisexual/intersex males would seek knowledge about 'why' he is naturally attracted to other males, he will find that it's really never been about sex and sexual activity in the first place.

He will find that his duel gender birth is more about obtaining the very powerful talents and abilities of both genders in one person. He will find that by learning to balance both his male and female aspects, he is not 'restricted' to who he can love based on 'gender', but based on who he falls in love with. He will find that there is no need to 'commit' to a gender, before he has a 'person' to commit to.

However, to understand who he is biologically, he must seek knowledge, and not depend on the media or special interest groups to 'tell' him who he is based on a stereotype.

Maybe it's time to Open Your Mind in 2009!

You can't pray it away...

So many guys confused about their born duel gender and the side effect of being obsessed with being attracted to both males and females, tend to turn to the church that condemns them for help.

Unfortunately, just like dieting, when you try to pretend or go into denial about your natural birth, one day you give up restricting yourself, and it all comes back.

WHY?
Since the church blames you for your natural attraction to other males, then it's up to you to 'change' that attraction with God's help.

But here are the facts:
1. The spark of life that created you was perfect as with all life within the universe.

2.The 9 months in your mother's care, is what defines whether a child will be born with any physical dysfunction, mental dysfunction, or any level of Bisexuality or any level of the more physical Intersex Condition.

3. It's much easier to blame the child 12 to 18+ years after birth, than for the parent to reflect on their own life choices and level of care for her unborn child.

4. Ignorance of basic biology within the church is what keeps the church stuck selling the concept that your biological bisexuality and Intersex condition is something that needs to be 'fixed' by God.

Ignorance Is Ignorance:
Ignorance is Ignorance no matter who is suffering from the lack of knowledge. What seems to be the best path for balance between your male and female aspects, along with balance within yourself, is gaining knowledge so your wisdom overshadows ignorance, no matter what direction it comes from, or what form it comes in.

Once you understand that God did not make you gay, or homosexual, or Bisexual, or Intersex, the sooner you will be able to release yourself from the condemnation by the church for your biologically bisexual birth, due to your mother's care during the nine months in her care before birth.

However, as long as you try to hang on to the idea that God created you as gay or homosexual, or you try to live a lifestyle based on sexual activity and sexual obsession, then you only buy into the churches concepts of self hate and that it's your choice to be biologically bisexual or intersex, and it's your fault that God has not 'fixed' you.

It does not matter what faith you have, or no faith at all. Basic biology and basic ignorance will always be in conflict around this issue, and as long as you are in denial of your biologically birth, you welcome the condemnation of the 'church'.

Empower Yourself:
But when you gain knowledge and learn to accept your biological birth, you are empowered to learn to manage your duel genders, gain the talents and abilities both genders bring to a bisexual person, and learn to obtain a balanced and lasting relationship with whoever you were meant to be with.

What are your thoughts?

Why Do I Write About This Issue?

Below is the text of a conversation with a blog reader who wanted to know why I write about this issue:

Q: So what exactly lead you to this study what it compelled you and pulled your attention to place yourself in the line of fire?

A: Well, anytime you are focused on the truth, you will be in the line of fire for many living in denial or the ignorance. The bright light hurts the eyes of those who live in the dark for so long.

But I never bought into the concepts of living a lifestyle based on sexual activity, and know there was something wrong about selling people down the river on the gay boat. So I started researching and the answers were much easier and more available than I expected.

But the biggest issue is with denial.
- Females don't want to take responsibility for their 9 months of care and the reason these children are born with this birth defect in the first place.

- The children as they grow up don't want to be seen as having a birth defect, so they fight to be seen as 'normal', which means they get no help, and the mothers are off the hook.

- Because now it's the child's fault that they are born Biologically Intersex/Bisexual, because they 'choose' to be 'gay'.

- No the parents and the rest of society are free to condemn the children for their 'choice' to be Gay, without ever having to address the core issue of Biological Intersex/Bisexual births that lead them down that choice.

So what we have are two groups in denial and living in ignorance, but who are in conflict with each other. Unfortunately, there can never be a common ground gained, because both are basing their argument on a lie.

Non-Judgement........the Relationship Cancer

I find it interesting how so many committed 'gay' males are so resistant to judging the behavior of other committed gay males.

The Gay Community
It took a bit of thought, but it all makes sense. In order to belong to the gay 'community', one of the primary requirements is that you not judge the sexual behavior of another member of that community.

This is because, if members of the 'community' begin to call out the degrading and promiscuous sexual behavior of other members of the community, then they couldn't participate in the same behaviors that are actually required as part of the 'lifestyle'. Very much like congress who create laws with loopholes in them, so they can continue their 'legal' behavior which is very much like the illegal behavior of someone from the general public who is charged with a crime.

So members of the gay community are not allowed to identify or call out anyone who attempts to have sex with married men, sex with males with girlfriends, or sex with males who are in 'relationships' with other males. They are supposed to let them do what they will without comment or judgment.

However, when another member of the gay community has sex with his partner, then the promiscuous sexual behavior becomes a problem. Now it's OK to judge this 'other' person, along with their partner, or by now, the X.

The cancer in your relationship....
But he never thinks about the promiscuous sexual behavior being a 'problem' or there being anything wrong with the behavior while trying not to place judgment on the behavior. But when it finally impacts his own life, and it is guaranteed to happen, it then becomes a problem that can't be tolerated. Judgment day is here!!!!

This Non-Judgment concept around sexually promiscuous behavior in the gay community, is now at the point where it actively erodes the 'concept' of a relationship, before a relationship can even begin.

Just think about it:
1. Do you feel it's OK to have sex with strangers?

2. Do you feel it's OK to have sex with with married men?

3. Do you feel it's OK to have sex with guys knowing or pretending not to know he is dating or in a relationship with another male or female?

4. Have you convinced your partner that it's OK for both of you to have sex with other guys, but call it 'fun' or 'entertainment' in an attempt to get around the fact that you are both cheating on each other, right in each others face by calling it an 'open' relationship?

Most 'gay' or bisexual males are OK with 1, 2 and 3, and of those who try to maintain a 'relationship' the majority must be OK with the #4.

How low does a person's self esteem and self worth have to be, to let that happen to him? But you would be surprised what guys will agree to, to avoid being alone, and dealing with the reality that his chance of another male wanting to even 'simulate' a relationship with him is vary remote. Never understanding the core reason his mate must have a constant stream of bodies to have sex with, is more tied to body image obsession and sex addiction.

It's time to Re-Think..
So you may want to re-think about the concept of 'live and let live', or 'it is what it is', or 'I try not to judge' when it comes to promiscuous sexual behavior with members of the gay group, or with biologically bisexual males. Because all it is, is his attempt at justifying his own current promiscuous sexual behavior, by making it OK for others to do the same.

YOU NEED TO STAND FOR SOMETHING

You can't have it both ways, either you stand for something, or live with the consequences.
So don't blame the other males for being promiscuous and available to have sex with your partner, blame yourself, because you already 'approved' of the behavior. Don't blame other guys for not wanting to settle down with you, because you already 'approved' of the promiscuous sexual behavior that enables him to have sex with anyone he likes, whenever he likes.

Even with you and your partner. Sorry.......I mean your X.

Looking for a R when he really needs a F

It's not what you think. R is for Relationship and F is from Friendship.

What seems to be the cause of so many failed relationship attempts between two biologically bisexual/gay males, is the almost desperate attempt at creating the 'idea' of a relationship, before they even have a basic friendship.

Most bisexual males feel that they have started a 'relationship' once they have had sex with each other and communicate once more after sex. This is normally when one of the two starts the questions about 'where is this going?', and 'are you seeing other people?', but forgetting only 72 hours have passed since they first met. Internet chat does not count.

But this obsession with obtaining a 'relationship' with another male, is exactly what keeps him from ever finding his life partner.

To understand how to reach any goal, you must understand why you failed along the way, learn from your mistakes, and correct your behavior.

So let's talk about a few of the pitfalls:

1. Promiscuity: If you think that it's OK to be promiscuous 'until' you meet Mr. Right, you are wrong. Your sexual behavior before you meet the person you are interested in, is often times what has you rejected by that same person.

No one wants a whore in their life or will feel proud to introduce a whore to his friends who may have already had sex with this person. You will only be temporary while he continues to search for someone he can feel proud to have by his side.

2. Desperation: The more desperate you are to be in a 'relationship' the less the person you are interested in, will want to be with you even as a friend. If you continue to compromise who you are to fit the mold of who you 'think' the other male wants in his life, then you only become a shell, and of little interest to the other male.

3. Body Image: If your 'attraction' to the other male is based on a body image you wished was your own, or a level of masculinity far greater than your own, you are only setting yourself up for failure.

Even if you 'abnormally' build your body to attract another abnormally muscular male, his obsession with his own body image, will keep him looking for another male more muscular and masculine than himself. You may be used for sex when he is horny or lonely once or twice, but he will reject you so that he may continue his search for his own more masculine and more muscular male.

However, he will expect you to maintain the basic masculine and muscular form of a male, since a male is what his female aspect is attracted to.

4. Character: Who you are as a person is all you have to offer a person long term. If who you are does not earn the respect and admiration of the other male, then there will be no reason for him to be with you long term.

Being a whole person, having your own thoughts, ideas, hobbies, expanding your mind to learn and grow yourself is what is what maintains mental stimulation between you and any other person. But if you put little focus on who you are, and are bored with your life, don't expect another person to want to stick around so they can be bored with you.

5. Being Gay: The concept and stereotype behaviors and lifestyle tied to belonging to the gay group is what ends so many friendships and relationships before they ever get started. When you must be OK with promiscuity, even if you choose not to be promiscuous as 'other' people, but you condone the behavior, it becomes part of your life, or the life of the person you thought you were attracted to.

The whole 'non judgment' concept tied to sexual behavior and the attempt to 'be' gay through sexual activity backfires on them, because consistently, by not condemning the promiscuous behavior or being OK with having sex with someone else's friend, boyfriend or partner, only ensures that the same thing will happen to him when he tries to maintain a friend, boyfriend or partner.

Also his attempt to obtain an 'identity' based on particular gay approved actions and outward appearance, only keeps those males in a very small pool to feel off each other as they are rejected by anyone who does not choose that 'identity'.

6. Friendship: This is the most important aspect, and the one component that so many bisexual males fail to establish or are unable to establish. Friendships take time to develop. Many males confuse friendships with acquaintances or with networking. Just because you know a person's name or have talked with him a few times, or have chatted on the web with him, does not make you his friend.

However, establishing a trusting, respectful and lasting friendship is the only process that puts you on the road to a potential relationship, that may lead to a life partner. This doesn't happen in days or a week or week, but in most cases, it takes months or even years to establish solid friendships that will last. Trying to create 'relationships' out of simulated friendships will only fail and also end your opportunity to continue to build that friendship.

Also, by introducing sex early on into the 'acquaintance', you only eliminate the desire for the other male to even want to learn more about you, as you have exposed yourself as an 'outlet' for him, more than a friend. Because he knows that many other guys have come before him, and many more will follow, if you are willing to have sex with him so soon. So he continues his search for someone he can 'admire'.

Bisexual males forget that this is how females attract and maintain males as mates long term. However those females who offer sex openly, are those in the same situation as the bisexual males doing the same thing. If he does not admire you for your character, who you are as a person, there is no reason to be with you. Isn't that why you want him as your mate??

So maybe it's time to give yourself a chance. Time to stop creating roadblocks for yourself and begin to move forward in your live goals. Learn to be all the characteristics of the male you want in your life, so that you can naturally attract him into your life. Have a focus on the long term and ask yourself, why would someone want to be with me long term. Ask yourself, why would anyone want to be your friend. If you can answer that honestly, then must maybe you have a chance.

What are your thoughts and ideas about this posting?

Labels, Labels, Labels

Most people that claim to be 'Gay' don't really know what they are claiming to be. Then there is the GLBT Group or or merger of the various sub groups that have many even more confused.

Let's break it down here:

Gay: Group identifier or lifestyle concept adopted by many Lesbians, Bisexuals and Trans gender individuals, or anyone with any sexual difference, dysfunction, obsession or addiction.

Lesbian: An Intersex person of female 'gender' who feels naturally attracted to females, males, both or neither gender.

Bisexual: An Intersex person of male 'gender' who can feel naturally attracted to males, females, both or neither gender.

Trans gender: An Intersex person born more physically both male and female 'gender' who can feel naturally attracted to males, females, both or neither gender.

Same Gender Loving(SGL): An Intersex person of male or female gender who feels naturally attracted to males, females or both, but do not want to be identified by the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual labels.

Now for the Sexual Activities:

Heterosexual: Particular sexual 'activity' between two beings of the opposite gender.

Homosexual: Particular sexual 'activity' between two beings of the same gender.

As you will notice, a person can't be an' activity' so you can't 'be' a heterosexual or a homosexual, but only participate in that 'type' of sexual activity.

So now, what are you? Are you still trying to be identified or trying to create a lifestyle based on sexual activity and sexual attraction? What you will find is most males and females are bisexual, and they exaggerate their attraction for the same gender by obsessive masturbation to those body images.

The result is that they begin to only seek other people for friends or potential mates solely based on 'gender'.

How is that working out for you?

Gays, the Church and the Truth.

I recently watched an interesting video by a Samuel Brown, who also has a blog: www.sonofabishop.blogspot.com. His focus in the video was about how the church and religion use the bible to justify their very negative view point of the many men and women who are attracted to the same gender.

So many Intersex/Bisexual men and women beat themselves up over this issue on a daily basis. However, many who tend to hide under the gay umbrella, may deserve criticism, based on the fact that they choose to create a lifestyle based on sex and sexual activity. However, many other Intersex/Bisexual males and females live more respectable lives and should receive that respect earned, and not be negatively impacted by their ability to love another human, whether male or female.

But sadly, many of these individuals bring this negative reaction on themselves, by being ignorant of their own gender identity, and trying to 'own' a birth issue that was not of their own making. And certainly not GOD's either.

It is so amazing what humans are willing to 'accept' or believe, when they 'choose' not to seek knowledge to educate themselves, and expand their minds. But very much like the religious, the 'gay' men and women are stuck in mental/intellectual and isolation, defending a antiquated belief system that only harms them.

It's Very Basic:
Just think about the fact that if the general public understood the biological reasons why humans and animals are born with various levels of the Intersex condition, the whole issue of trying to be 'tolerated' by the church and the general public would be a nonexistent.

Basic biology tells us that all fetus start out perfect, but it's what happens 'after' God has done his work that creates 99.9% of the children born with various dysfunctions and disabilities.

For instance, crack babies, babies born with diabetes, babies born with AIDS, babies born with Downs Syndromes, etc are not the work of GOD. What creates these dysfunctions and 99.9% of the other dysfunctions in born children is due to the care of the mother during the 9 months GOD trusted his work in the care of the mother.

However, women in an attempt to reject their responsibility for their born child, blames GOD or the child for their born disorder. I know the word 'disorder' is a hard word to hear to describe one's born condition, but very simply, that's what it is. It does not 'define' a person, but it is what the person is made of.

IT'S OBVIOUS:
But until self proclaimed 'gay' people educate themselves, and become knowledgeable of their own birth 'disorder', they will forever be stuck in a never ending cycle of lying to themselves about being 'normal but different', and 'OWNING' their disorder, while whose who are responsible for their disorder,(by doing crack, bad life choices, having too many children, taking birth control pills while pregnant, smoking, drinking alcohol, ingesting dairy products), point the finger back at the child, or to GOD as if GOD had anything to do with what the parent co-created.

But as long as the many men and women 'choose' to hide under the gay umbrella, to justify lifestyles based on sexual activity and sexual obsession, or try to 'redefine' what a 'normal' is for a human, he or she is only creating more heartache and pain for themselves. Because they are only hurting themselves, and giving more ammunition to those who seek to reject them based on their sex based lifestyle, or 'who' they choose to 'love'.

Educate yourself, about yourself. Most people know more about their car or their computer than they know about their body, mind, spirit and soul.

Relationship Roles and Purpose.....

Men complain to me and each other on a constant basis about not being able to obtain and maintain a stable relationship with another male. Even when they have balanced and resolved or are not impacted by the issues of masculinity obsession, body image obsession and porn.

But what these males may not understand is that they are dealing with the same issues that has created the failure of close to 50% of opposite gender relationships/marriages.

It's about ROLES:
For any 'relationship' to sustain itself, both parties must have a defined role to play in the relationship. Whether it's a business relationship, a team relationship or personal relationship, there are two definite roles that must be played. If not, the relationship will fail.

Those two roles are:
1. Leader, provider, security
2. Support, maintenance, back up

In every case whether it's in business, teams or personal relationships, if you don't have members performing either of the two roles, there will be failure. By ignoring these basic rules, is where same gender and opposite gender relationships set themselves up to fail.

It's all about PURPOSE.
For example, let's look at the failure of opposite gender relationships. The 'balance' in those relationships was tied to each person having a 'purpose'. The male was the provider and the female was the support. What this offered was a balance between the two, where one is not overstepping another's role and coming into conflict.

But what we have today is that women have decided or have been forced due to economics to take on the full time role of provider and as a part time job, take on the role as support. Which puts her in conflict with the male, as he now has no role of his own to play in a relationship with her.

The result is he will leave her or cheat on her for another women who 'needs' him for support and security, and the provider wife/women he is in a relationship with or married to never understands why he would do such a thing.

This failure is because the female is now in 'competition' with the male for his role as a male in the relationship. If he is not the provider, he has no purpose in the relationship. No matter how much he loves her, or his children.

This works the same way for same gender relationships:
Unfortunately, primarily males who seek or are in same gender relationships tend to adopt the failed mindset of the provider women/wife, who actually 'require' the other male to be in competition with him. Not knowing what he is doing, he is only setting himself up for failure.

He does this by 'requiring' the other male to have his 'own' home, apartment, car, money, job and is able to support himself fully, before he is a viable candidate for dating.

But what this 'requirement' creates is an undercurrent of conflict between the two males, and keeps them from ever becoming a union or true partnership.

What the two males are doing is requiring the other to take on the role of provider in the relationship, and no one is willing to support the other, or is 'allowed' to take on the support role that's critical for any 'relationship' to be successful. So they remain in conflict for money, things and power in the relationship.

There are a few reasons for this:
1. The vast majority of same gender bisexual relationship roles are mistakenly defined by 'sexual roles' (top,bottom,vers), which throws off the overall role balance in the relationship. Because the provider or support can participate in any sexual 'activity' or take on any sexual role.

2. Since many males and females tend to jump into same gender 'committed relationship' concept quickly, before they even know the person, there is a high failure rate, and they are not willing to take a financial risk on someone they don't really know.

3. Many who start same gender relationships, really don't realistically see a lasting future with the other person, but only a limited time relationship, stack up another 'EX', before they start their next relationship. So there is no real commitment to the relationship.

4. Since there is no legal binding contract between the two same gender individuals, anyone taking on the support role is depending on the provider on faith.

Conclusion:
So even after you have resolved your obsession with more masculine and more muscular males through your 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge, and finally regained your balance as a biologically bisexual person who is mentally male and female, before you start to seek out another person for a relationship, it's best to 'first' decide what role you are looking to play in a relationship.

Because if you are focused on being dominate in the relationship, you need to be able to step up as a man, and be a provider and make that clear to your mate. If not, you need to step down.

If you know you are less dominate and more comfortable in a support role, make that clear up front to a potential partner, and get clarity on where he stands, so you are not stuck in conflict.

If you know you are more balanced and seek to be both dominate at times, and more of a support person, seek out another male that feels the same way, so that you can compliment each other. But make sure both of you are clear on this from the start, so you don't create conflict in the background, that keeps you apart.

Share your stories.
How has relationships based on sex roles worked or failed for you?
How do you feel about financially supporting another male?

How He Ended Up Living a Gay Lifestyle...

I am always surprised at the large number of Biologically Bisexual males under 25, that tell me that they don't understand 'how' and 'why' they ended up in the gay lifestyle, when they never joined the gay group or committed to 'BE' Gay?

Many males, unaware that he was born Biologically Bisexual, are confused about their natural attraction for both genders.

His natural sexual attraction for females is confusing enough for the male. But when you add the complexity of a natural attraction for males, it can be overwhelming to the male.

With all the marketing of the concept of 'being gay' on TV in print and on the web with all the overt sexuality and sexual activity, he knows that he does not want to be a part of group. He remembers guys he know in school that were normal guys in school, and once they became 'gay' they started to act like girls and just looked for guys to have sex with all the time. He know that was not him.

He knows that he has a strong 'natural' attraction for females, and has plans to get married and raise a family. But he just can't shake the attraction for other males, and he does not understand what's happening.

Because he knows that he is NOT gay.

So he continues to date women, looking for his dream girl that he wants to marry. But to keep his attraction for males a secret, he continues to work out at the gym to make his body more muscular, surfs the web looking at gay porn and masturbating to those male body image he sees at the gym or in the porn.

What he does not realize is that the more he obsesses over more masculine body images, and the more gay porn images he looks at and masturbates to, only exaggerates his female aspect's 'natural' attraction to male body images that seem more masculine than his own. Which only makes his situation worse.

He keeps mastrubating...

But he tries to stay focused on the girl that he loves and who loves him. He wants to marry her, but unfortunately this very happy moment in his life, and his future plans are overshadowed with confusion, self hate and doubt.

He keeps mastrubating...

He knows knows that he can't stop himself from going on line every day and or night, and looking at naked male bodies and body parts he wished he had for himself, it's like an addiction.

He keeps mastrubating...

But when he starts to wonder what it would be like to masturbate with one of those body images, he freaks out. Because that would mean that he was 'gay', and he knows that he's not gay, because he is in love with his girlfriend.

He keeps mastrubating....

So he tries to top watching the gay porn. To do this, he starts to watch 'straight' porn. But this does not help, because he would still masturbate to the male images that were either more masculine, more muscular or who had a larger penis than his own in the straight porn.

He keeps mastrubating...

As time went on, and the more he masturbated to those male images, the less he begin interested in his girlfriend, who he loved. It was if he had no choice in the matter, and all he could think about was going to the gym and where he could see another more masculine more muscular male body images.

He keeps mastrubating...

Eventually he gives in to his obsession and masturbates with another male from one of the on line gay sex sites. It wasn't what he expected. It wasn't really sex, but just masturbating with the guy. He thought I could have done this at home alone. He felt like he just cheated on his girlfriend who he loves and could not get away from the guy any quicker.

He tells himself that he is never putting himself in that position again. So tries to stay away from the sex sites and spends more time at the gym and with his girl friend. But something does not feel right between him and his girlfriend.

He still loves her, but he's not wanting to have sex with her like he used to. So as their relationship becomes more strained, he begins to feel more confused and sexually frustrated. Mental pictures of more masculine male body images keep popping up...

He keeps mastrubating...

Finally he gives in. He can't control his obsession with more muscular male images he sees at the gym, in fitness magazines or on line. But he knows he is not like those feminine or sex obsessed 'gay' people on TV, but his obsessive sexual behavior paints a very different picture for him.

But what about his future? His wife and family? His parents, his friends, his life?

His bigger question is 'why' is this happening to me???

Sadly, like so many biologically bisexual males, without understanding their duality of gender, they are able to masturbate themselves into a sexual obsession with other male body images more muscular than their own. This obsessive and compulsive masturbation only exaggerates his sexual bond to the more masculine male images.

The result is that he will be stuck living a life tied to his obsession to more muscular male images, and masturbating to maintain that manual exaggerated sexual attraction. Which at the same time, dulls his 'natural' sexual attraction for females.

For many of these males, the 'natural' solution to help them accept the lifestyle tied to sexual behavior is to choose to join the gay group. Where anyone with a gender difference, gender confusion, sexual confusion, low self esteem, sexual obsession, sexual addiction and sexual dysfunction is 'accepted'.

And they only ask the rest of the world to 'tolerate' them.

Take the '10 Day Sex Detox Challenge'!!

Look at the life choices of those 'real world' males older than you that choose the 'gay' lifestyle. Not on television in documentaries or gay movies created by those living a gay lifestyle, but real world males you see in public and in the thousands of on line profiles on the hundreds of gay sex and dating sites.

Don't you think you deserve much more from your life???

Think You Were Never Attracted To Women?

The most common reason Intersex/Bisexual or Duel Gender males males tend to think they are automatically 'gay', is because they have a strong sexual attraction for other males, but do not feel an attraction for females they 'think' they 'should' be attracted to.

This tends to be because the Intersex/Bisexual or duel gender male is trying to compare himself with the single gender male.

Understand that by being born duel gender, and you are balanced with your male and female aspects, you benefit from the traits, abilities and attractions of both genders.

Let's break it down from a sexual attraction perspective:
- His female aspect will be attracted to the 'natural' masculinity of another male 'she' feels is more masculine than her own male aspect.

- His male aspect will be 'naturally' attracted to females his male aspect sees as more feminine than his own female aspect.

The result is that females that the Intersex/Bisexual male will naturally feel attracted to, in most cases, will not be the same females the single gender males naturally will be attracted to.

WHY? Lets just think logically here.
Single gender males only have his primary sexual attraction for females. So all of his sexual activity and masturbation is focused at females. Any female more feminine than himself tends to be what attracts him.

For the duel gender male, your female aspect is 'naturally' attracted to males 'more' masculine than yourself (since you are part of her), AND your male aspect will be attracted to females 'more' naturally feminine than your own female aspect.

This is why so many 'gay' or Intersex/bisexual males are attracted to females who are over the top with femininity. Diana Ross and other glamorous and ultra feminine females are an example. Intersex/bisexual males simply cannot get enough of those females.

Their female aspects want to 'be' those over feminine females. This is the same with his male aspect wanting to 'be' the more masculine, more muscular male.

Most don't understand the attraction, and just assume it's because they are 'gay', that they don't see it as a sexual attraction. However, when he is able to balance both his male and female aspects(using the 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge), he is able to regain his 'natural' male attraction for those females he is so attracted to, but currently where his sexual bond is restricted by obsessive masturbation to male images to feed his female aspect.

You may need to read that section again so it sinks in, because it's important that you understand what's happening.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to take the 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge, because until you do so, you will continue to be in a fog, driven by your female aspects exaggerated desire for males more masculine, and your males obsession with obtaining a more muscular body image or body parts than his own.

Take the challenge.. It's time you took back your life!

Instead of Porn and Masturbating...

So many guys who are participating in the "10 Day Sex Detox Challenge" have asked me what they are supposed to do with their time, if they can't go to the gym, can't look at porn or surf the net for hours looking at porn sites and sex chat websites.

Most males lost under the gay umbrella for their entire adult lives have never stopped to ask themselves what they want out of life.

They simply attached the restrictions on their lives that came with the gay lifestyle. There were never real options......only limitations.

What I suggest is that this is the time to finally get to know who they really are.

- Learn what your born talents and abilities are and foster them.

- Learn how to play a sport you never had time to play, or were afraid to try.

- Read books or take a cooking class and really learn how to cook.

- Host dinner parties to share your cooking skills with your friends.

- Join a book club to help you read books on various topics, and meet new people not based on gender.

- Learn a new language and maybe you can be fluent in a second language.

- Learn to ask questions and seek out knowledge every day. The web has a wealth of information not related to porn.

- Don't be afraid to take an interior decorating class to train your natural talent and offer a potential career.

- Start painting or take a painting class to express yourself visually.

- Write music and lyrics that you feel mean something to you.

- Learn to balance your mind and body through meditation, yoga or other martial arts

- Learn public speaking by joining Toastmasters or any other group that helps you grow your communication skills.

- Learn to write or take a writing class to develop your creative writing skills.

- Go back to school and obtain that diploma, certification or degree you have always wanted.

- Volunteer to help those in need in your community.

These are just a few suggestions to get you started. But what's most important is for you to begin to envision a future for yourself, that does not restrict your potential by sexuality, but expands your potential by the skills and abilities that may be within you, due to your duality of gender.

All around you in the world, artists, designers, health professionals, educators, counselors, architects, engineers, legal professionals and business owners and many more careers are lead by bisexual men and women. These individuals have been able to avoid the oppression that an obsession with sexuality and body image has on many bisexual males that choose a gay lifestyle.

Use your "10 Day Sex Detox Challenge" to explore your inner self, and find who you really are, and what hidden talents you were born with, that have laid dormant for so many years.

It's time to begin your life and create a new future, one day at a time!

Think You Were Attracted To Males Since Childhood?

Many males choose to belong to the gay group or to 'be' gay for very common reasons.

One of the most common justifications used is that they were 'attracted' to men when they were a child, some think as early as age 4.

Let's start with a few facts:

- Biologically, children do not have a sexual attraction for anything before puberty. So you could not be sexually attracted to males as a child.

- All males are attracted to those they admire and things that they admire and want for themselves. They want to be fireman or a policeman because they see them driving big shiny trucks and racing in cars with sirens.

- Other children admire other male figures in their life because they want to be like them when they grow up. Again, children have no sexual attraction.....period.

- As the child ages, the more he admires other males he feels are more outgoing, stronger or more popular than himself, the more he wants to be like that other male.

- There will never be a case where a child is 'sexually' attracted to another male. The child may attempt to simulate behavior of others for 'attention' from the person they admired.

So basic human biology proves there is NO possibility for a person to be sexually attracted to a male as a child.

It is only in adolescence, when the male begins to masturbate to the images of people and things he 'admires', that he creates a 'sexual bond' with those people and things. This is how males create a 'sexual bond' with males, females and other things in their lives.

Now that you understand that you could never have had a 'sexual attraction' for other males as a child....what's your next excuse??

Take the 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge.

Your Daily 'Gay' Maintenance Plan

It takes quite a bit of time, effort and dedication to 'Be' Gay.

There is quite a bit of maintenance to keep the 'gay' engine running, or it starts to misfire, or may stall when you lease expect it, and leave you stranded wondering 'who' you really are.

Daily Maintenance:

1. Remind yourself many times during the day that you are gay

2. Locate someone else you 'want' to be gay, and identify them as gay also.

3. Get up late, show up late for work, get passed over for a project or promotion, get repremended for work quality, and blame it on the 'fact' that you are gay.

4. Dress in stereotypical gay fashion, with body modifications and hair styles to ensure other gay group members are able to identify you, judge you and reject you, and at the same time cause you to be rejected by the rest of the world.

5. Call people 'Homophobic' who you feel rejected by for any number of reasons. Whatever that is supposed to mean since 'homo = human' and 'phobi = fear', and no human is afraid of humans.

6. Constantly be on the look out for another male in the real world that you feel is more masculine and more muscular than yourself, who is guaranteed to reject you, so you have an image to masturbate to that day, evening or night.

7. Spend hours at the gym to lift weights in an attempt to obtain the body image of the more masculine and muscular males you masturbate to on a daily basis.

8. Make sure your home is supplied with magazines of males with more muscular body images that you wished were your own.

9. Post those more muscular male body images you want for yourself on the walls of your room or throughout your home, to simulate the idea that that body image wants to be with you.

10. Go on line for hours and look at pornographic images of naked males and body parts you wished were your own, and most that you don't. Chat with some of the desired body images, hoping they will call you, want to meet you, masturbate with you. But that fails, so you focus on finding one that makes a good masturbation image for the evening.

11. You are not able to meet the masculinity or body image you desire, so you must blame the 'other' gay males for not wanting you, and the other non-gay males for not being gay. Then you must blame society for not accepting your lifestyle choice. Other people become the reason why you are alone and unhappy with your life.

11. Masturbate and go to bed.

Now that's a whole lot of maintenance trying to be something that you are not. And each step of the way, there is guaranteed failure based on the fact that the obsession for the masculinity and body image of another male is a manual one created by habitual behavior.

Once you understand that being born Biologically Intersex or Bisexual, was never about sex and sexuality, but about the ability to harness the creative power that gender duality provides you.

Your obsessive masturbation to more masculine males with body images you wished were your own, force you to manually restrict 'who' you are able to date and who you are 'able' to love based on gender, masculinity and body image, which only leaves you the option to try and 'simulate' the relationships that humans are meant to have with each other. Which never works.

Biologically Intersex or Bisexual people naturally have 'more' opportunities for love and relationships because they are 'able' to love other humans of both genders, and not biologically be restricted to looking for their soul mate, their life partner, or their love based on gender.

Open up your possibilities......learn to 'commit' to a person, not a gender.

How about giving yourself a chance at the life you struggle so hard to achieve, but continue to sabotage. Whether it's with a male or female.

Take the 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge. You have nothing to lose, and your future to gain.

Benefits of Accepting Your Bisexual Birth

Once a person climbs from under the gay umbrella, or climbs up from the down low and accept his Biological Bisexual birth, he no longer has to carry around the negative concepts of the gay group.

A Few Benefits of Accepting Your Biologically Bisexual Birth:

- There is no question of 'choice' as being bisexual is biological, unlike 'gay' that's only a group identifier for anyone with any gender or sexual differences or dysfunction.

- The ability to obtain and maintain a trusting and monogamous relationship with whoever they love, without a restriction on gender.

- Able to actually able to live a rich full life, not based on a sexual desire and sexual activity based lifestyle.

- Able to obtain and maintain trusting friendships with other males not tied masculinity and body image restrictions.

- Able to focus on expanding his mind, participating in interests that enrich his life, not tied to sex and sexuality.

- Able to be part of the greater society, and not forced to become part of a sub-culture or sub-community.

- Able to help educate the general public about the difference between being born biologically bisexual, and choosing to 'be' gay.

- Able to earn and maintain respect in our society for who he is, and not carry the negative weight of the gay group and it's sex focus on his shoulders.

These are just a few of the many benefits when a biologically bisexual male chooses to accept his gender duality, and regain his life and future that's been waiting for him all along.

Take the 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge, and day by day you will see how your obsession with the masculinity of other males, and the obsession with a more masculine male body image begins to fade away.

Once you are in more balance with being a Biologically Bisexual Male, you are able to see yourself and other males and females in a more positive light.


It's Your Choice!

Are You Trapped Under The Gay Umbrella?

A large percentage of males who either commit to being gay, or are bisexual who participate in only the sex aspect of the gay lifestyle, feel trapped.

The hardest thing for many 'gay' males to overcome is the fact that they have done so much sexually, that was justified by 'being gay', it's hard to climb out from under the gay umbrella.

Choosing to belong to the gay group has it's costs:

1. Without going into graphic detail, many of the sex acts performed on a regular basis, leaves the gay male outside the scope of acceptability for anyone outside his gay group, and many other males within the gay group.

2. He has had sexual activity with so many people, he consistently runs into a member of the gay group that he has had sex with.

3. He has had to reject his own basic morals and values to join the gay group.

4. To re-established those very basic morals and values, he must critically re-evaluate his own sexual behavior.

5. He will be challenged to establish an identity not based on sexual desire and sexual activity.

6. He has the challenge to take ownership of responsibility expectations in our society, where as a member of the gay group, there were no expectations at all.

7. He can no longer hide in a subculture or micro-community where his sexual obsessions/addictions are accepted.

8. He has no excuse left not to re-establish relationships with his family members who rejected his membership in the gay group.

9. He is challenged to be able to establish friendships with other males, without the restriction that they be a potential sex option.

10. Now he must be able to answer the question...."If you are not gay, who are you?"

So for the Biological Intersex/Bisexual Male who is making the effort to regain his own identity as a man, the disconnect from the gay group or the sexual and body image obsession associated with that group, will not be an easy one.

It's an opportunity to renew your life.

This is a personal journey for each individual, and each males' challenges will be different. But you just have to ask yourself a few questions to see if all the effort is worth it:

1. How has 'being' gay worked out for you over the past years?

2. How has a life obsessed with sexual activity worked out for you?

3. How has a life obsessed with masculinity and body image obsessions working for you?

4. How has the first three questions helped you obtain and maintain trusting friendships?

5. How has the first 4 questions helped you obtain and maintain a trusting and monogamous relationship with another person?

6. How do you think the answers to the first 5 questions, will have an impact on your future?

It's a New Year, and just maybe it's time give yourself an opportunity for the life you deserve.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Maybe It's Time...

For many who 'choose' a gay lifestyle or use the gay lifestyle to justify their sexual activity, their only hope is to be 'tolerated' by their own society and never really expect to be 'respected.

It's obvious that most males in general, don't wake up one day with the idea that he will all of a sudden, base his identity on sexual desire and activity. The idea of being 'gay' is attractive to many younger males born with a level of the biological intersex/bisexual condition, who feel they are different than other males, because they have less or lack a sexual attraction for females, and a slight or greater attraction for other males.

So what is it about the intersex/bisexual males that helps them choose an 'identity' that's guaranteed to make them targets of rejection from a large portion of society?

Well, without understanding 'why' he feels sexually attracted to the same gender, and with there being no credible answer available for him, he has a few options:

1. Make a choice as to what he wants out of life, and make choices relating to his sexual activity in balance with his life choices.

2. Try to deal with his sexual desires the best that he can, and have sex with both women and men, hoping that the phase will pass and he can then get married and have children.

3. Accept that he has no idea why he feels that he is attracted to females and males or only males, and seeks shelter in a group of male suffering from the same issues, but with no answers or a solution. Where he is told that he must accept his sexual desires as his 'identity'.

Unfortunately, many males choose option #3. Why? Even though by adopting an identity based on sexual desire and sexual activity, and knowing he may be rejected by his family, friends and society, the choice to choose the 'gay' identity tied to sexual desire and sexual activity, is less painful than not having an answer, any answer, for his sexual attraction for the same gender, or being accepted as part of a group at all.

That's a very difficult choice for many males to make. But at the same time, it seems clear to him that it's really his only choice. But the sad part is that not ever knowing 'why' he is initially sexually attracted to the same gender, his actions associated with his new identity and trying to live a gay 'lifestyle' only make his situation worse on many levels.

Not understanding that he is born with a level of the biological intersex/bisexual condition, he has no idea what is happening to him from a mental perspective. As his female and male aspect conflict with each other, his female aspect becomes obsessed with more masculine males than himself. At the same time his male aspect becomes obsessed with simulating more masculinity through obtaining the more muscular body image of other males.

For the less Intersex male, he will spend countless hours in gyms trying to obtain the body image of the male his male aspect desires for his own, and his female aspect will desire an even higher level of masculinity than he has within himself. The result is that the males his female aspect is attracted to based on the exaggerated level of masculinity desired, will reject him, because he will me less masculine than the female aspect desires within the other biologically Intersex/bisexual male.

If he is born more mentally and more physically intersex, he will be challenged to modify his body to the image his male aspect is obsessed with. The result is that the majority of the other more masculine, more muscular intersex males who's female aspect seeks more masculinity than his own, will not be attracted to the less masculine male. Because he is not what the other males female aspect is looking for, and does not have the more muscular body image his male aspect wants for himself.

In either case, the biologically Intersex/bisexual male is rejected by the male his female aspect desires, or us used for a sexual outlet, an then rejected. While the female aspect of the more masculine male continues his search for his more masculine male.

This entire cycle of same sex attraction, body obsession and promiscuity is what day by day, diminishes the males self esteem, self respect and forces him to reject basic morals and values of his own society to justify his actions based on sexual desire and sexual activity. Which for many, feel is out of their control. And to a great extent it is.

Understand that this is not the case for all biologically Intersex/bisexual males at all levels. Many have resisted the recruitment efforts of the gay groups, knowing early on that they were more that sexual desire and sexual activity. Many even though they 'identify' as gay, focus on staying outside the box, and are able to gain more balance between his male and female aspect, and are able to have stable relationships with women and men, and start families.

However the majority of the biologically Intersex/bisexual males, from those that identify as bisexual, or gay, or homosexual, or trans gender, remain stuck in the cycle of an obsession with a sexual attraction for the masculinity of another male, and body image obsession for the body image of another male.

These members of the gay group, the struggle with uncontrolled obsession with sexual desire, masculinity and body image, is at the core of why they fight so hard to be accepted, but settle only for being 'tolerated'. And are challenged with seeking to be respected, even from other biologically Intersex/bisexual members of the gay groups.

This is very sad and should not be as we enter 2009!!

So instead of fighting to be tolerated:

Maybe it's time to ask questions.

Maybe it's time to open your mind, so you are able to understand more about the Intersex condition that is impacting your life so much. (Intersex Society of North America isna.org)

Maybe it's time to reject choosing to BE sexual desire and sexual activity.

Maybe its time to stop hiding under the gay umbrella and from the truth.

Maybe it's time to regain your identity as a whole, respectable member of our society.

Maybe it's time to learn about who you really are.

Maybe it's time to hold your head up high.

Maybe it's time to focus on harnessing the amazing skills and abilities born in you as a biologically Intersex/bisexual person of duel gender.

Maybe it's time to really gain an understanding of who you are as an individual.

Maybe it's time for equal rights as human beings and not based on sexuality.

Maybe it's time to love who you love, without restrictions on gender.

Maybe it's time to be happy

Maybe it's time to be free.

Maybe it's time for you.

It's time...

Bisexual and Biracial...Biologically!

It may be easier for many people to understand what it means to be Bisexual or biologically Intersex, if they think about it from the perspective of being Biracial.


Let's start with the definitions:


Biracial: –adjective: consisting of, representing, or combining members of two separate races

Intersex/Bisexual: –noun Biology: an individual displaying sexual characteristics of both male and female.

Now both Biracial and biological Intersex/Bisexual aspects of who a person is racially and based on gender from birth, deals with individual variations of each aspect of their birth. No two persons are the same as it relates to the degree or level of being Biracial or biologically Intersex.

Just as a person can be part of one or more races, a person can be biologically born various levels of both genders, mentally or mentally and physically.


Attempting to ignore or reject one aspect of their being creates conflict.

Biracial: Attempting to ignore or reject your other races aspect or your other side of your family creates mental trauma for the individual.

Intersex/Bisexual: At temping to ignore or reject your other gender aspect, or you female side of your bring, creates mental trauma for the individual.


Failure Rates:
This fact is why there is such a failure rate in the lives on many levels of the individuals who try to deny the racial diversity of their own family and being, with very similar failure rates in the lives of the many individuals who attempt to reject either his male or female aspect.

Attempting to live a DL lifestyle based on lies and deceptions and promiscuity only creates trauma in the life of the individual and other people in their lives

Attempting to live a GAY lifestyle based on sexual desire, masculinity and body image obsession, and promiscuity only creates trauma in the life of the individual and the people in their lives.

Attempting to live as a Same Gender Loving only creates internal conflict, because it tries to reject your male aspect, to restrict the ability to love only the same gender, or choose to only have sex with the same gender. Again, a failed identity based on sexual activity.


The Benefit of Characteristics:
Just as being born biologically Biracial brings more of a blend of the various characteristics of each race of people from all over the world, being born biologically Intersex/Bisexual does the same with the blending of gender characteristics of both male and female.

However, when the individual becomes lost in a false identity tied to sexuality and sexual obsession, he/she looses the benefits of gender blending, and suffers greatly in his personal relationships, his self esteem, respect and position in his/her society. It's not worth it.

So take a lesson from the many Biracial men and women in the world who proudly claim their racial diversity, now it's time for you to proudly claim your gender diversity.

No longer do you need to hide under the 'gay' umbrella of shame, with an association with a lifestyle based on sexual desire, body image obsession and sexual obsession.

Once you learn to embrace and manage both your male and female aspect, as an biologically Intersex/Bisexual person, you will be able to harness all of the characteristics of both genders as male or female.

No longer will you need to 'restrict' who you are 'able' to love based on their gender.

Only then will you be able to establish and maintain trusting and respectful friendships and establish and maintain trusting, respectful and monogamous intimate relationships with another person, male or female.

Learn more, read the archived postings in this blog with more information about the lower or mental Intersex condition. Along with checking out the Intersex Society of North America who focuses on more extreme physical Intersex conditions, at http://www.isna.org/.