Have You Been Bullied Into Being Gay?

It is not surprising that many of the males who contact me, state that much of the reason they bought into the gay lifestyle, and remain in the 'lifestyle', was because of their friends.

When you become adults, you might think that bulling that usually occurs in adolescence would have ended. But that's far from the truth, especially when it comes to something as personal as a person's identity.

In adolescents along with adulthood, if a person is not confident in themselves in aspects that impact him from a personal level, he will become susceptible to bulling in many ways.

This is why it is so easy for friends/acquaintances and others to bully so many younger and older males into the same 'gay' lifestyle that their friends have chosen for themselves.

And when you don't agree with their lifestyle choice, or you know it's not for you, you get attacked! It's as of you did something to them and they really go after you.

Common attacks are:

- You are just ashamed of who you are!

- You are just afraid to admit who you are!

- You are just lying to yourself!

- You are no better than we are!!!!!!

Anyone that understands the signs of verbal abuse will see that these 'friends' are only trying to break the person down, so they submit to their way of thinking or lifestyle. No matter what the risk to the individual may be.

But why is this happening?
Well, think about it. If you made conscious choices in your life that are greatly rejected by your family and your society, wouldn't you try to pull as many people on your side as possible? And if you know at some level that your 'choices' are not positive ones even for yourself, isn't it more comforting when other people are doing the exact came thing.

This way you are more free to continue that same 'chosen' behavior, because there is no one in your circle that will judge your behavior? Similar to why people don't like to drink alone, or do drugs alone, or kids don't like to act out alone...they need the validation of others 'like' them.

Is it a gang mentality?
It's really very much like gang mentality. Once you are in, you become the enemy if you want to get out. Guys that reject the idea of 'being' gay often times have to start over with a new set of friends. This is because once 'being' gay is not a focus, he really has little to nothing in common with his 'gay' friends.

When he thinks about it, all they did was have 'gay' discussions about why the rest of our society is wrong for not accepting the gay lifestyle, their dream long term relationship, talk negatively about other gay people, about other people they think are gay, and talk about sex and masturbate with each other or other people. That's pretty much it.

So many males want to get out of the gay group, but stay in due to fear and loosing the only friends/acquaintances he has. Because just about all his friends and acquaintances are in his life, because he belonged to the gay group and based on sexual desire and sexual activity.

Most of the guys I talked to that just had enough and wanted their life back, had to distance themselves from 'friends' and acquaintances who were committed to the gay group, who were focused on doing anything they can to hold them in the group.

Misery loves company
Much of the retaliation came in the form of spreading roomers about him to other gay people and any 'straight' people that he may know, to trying to 'out' him in public, in an attempt to scare him back into the gay group.

A lot of the guys stated that they ended up moving to other parts of the city or even other states to distance themselves from those individuals, and to have an opportunity to renew their life.

So much time and effort targeted at someone only because they choose the same lifestyle choice. But the reality is that the resentment is due to the other male having life possibilities that many committed to the gay group do not.

- The ability to earn respect from our society.

- No longer fearing judgment for his overt and promiscuous sexual activity.

- The greater potential for a lasting relationship or even marriage.

- The potential for a family.

So it's understandable why those committed to 'being' gay may feel rejected by anyone who does not want to belong to the gay groups.

Have you tried to escape from the gay group? What's been your experience?

Why So Many Young Feminine Males?

It's not only other Intersex males asking that question, it's mothers and fathers who are asking also. But not asking loudly, because they don't know the answer, or just don't want to know the answer.

My BlogBook 'Women Creating Gay Children'http://creatinggaychildren.blogspot.com/, speaks to how this is happening in great detail. But for the Biologically Intersex/bisexual male searching for his more masculine male, so many feminine males tends to cause a bit of frustration.

Not understanding that what has the more masculine male attracted to other more masculine males, is the same condition that has other males more feminine than other male. Not knowing this fact, intersex males reject those more masculine males and call them names, just because they are more intersex than he is himself.

Unfortunately, those more masculine intersex males, are who the more feminine males are 'naturally' attracted to. The female aspect of the intersex male will 'always' be 'naturally' attracted to a level of masculinity greater than 'her' own. So this puts the two males in conflict with each other.

But more on to the why so many young feminine guys question:
Understanding how intersex children are created, what seems to be the growing cause is the chosen and sometimes forced lifestyle many women lead today.

When a women is pregnant, and the fetus is triggered to be transformed to male, she must provide enough testosterone for the male to develop mentally and physically male. However, if the female is stressed, she produces more estrogen, which inhibits the flow of testosterone to the male child. the result is a physical gender male child, who remains to various degrees female. This can be from 1% to 100%. More detail on this is in the attached blog "Women Creating Gay Children".

So why so many more feminine or more intersex male children?
Well, take a look at the lifestyle of many women in just our society alone. Either choosing to work full time outside the home, or having to work to support herself, help support her family, or as a single mom. The impact of this additional 'stress' her life has a definite impact on the fetus primarily within the first trimester(two months). The more stressed she is, the greater and more severely intersex the child will be.

Today over 1 in every 2,000 births are at the physical level which often times requires 'questionable' surgery to define a physical sex for the new born. And this is just those extreme cases. The more mental cases are much higher and shows up in early childhood and spikes at puberty.

Not this is not a commentary about working women, but one on the lack of information for women on the impact of working during her first trimester pregnancy and the gender identity of her male child.

The current practice for women is to work up and until the last week of pregnancy, before she begins to take more care of herself. But by this time, the intersex child is already complete. And the more women focused on a stressful career, or in a bad relationship, or as a single parent, the chances of creating an intersex child, at all levels of the condition increases dramatically.

The proactive goal is for women to begin to provide more loving care for her child at the first weeks or within the first two months of the pregnancy. After the first trimester, nothing else done has an impact on the child's mental gender development. This has been proven many times again and again.

So why no focus from the medical community to promote more relaxed care for women during the first trimester of her pregnancy?
It could be due to the cost. Once the medical community promoted the concept of well baby care during the first trimester, insurance companies and corporations would have to food the bill. More medical care costs and more maternity time off for the mother. Just like many other known medical issues in our country, it's dollars that keep the basic knowledge from the general public.

Who's responsibility is it anyway?
But it's really up to women and the fathers to take control of their wellness and the responsibility for the wellness of their unborn child. Clearly no parent wants to create an Intersex child with the challenges he or she will face in life, so it's up to the parents to take the necessary steps to do all they can to ensure the complete health of their child.

But one thing that everyone else can do is to ensure women are aware of what's happening, so that they can take the very simple and loving steps toward ensuring her child is born with a more balanced gender identity. Whether it's your little bother, your nephew or grandchild, the more women in your life know about ensuring their child is healthy the better.

So now that you know, think about how you react to more feminine Intersex males than yourself. It's perfectly normal for some males not to be attracted to feminine males, but respecting those 'that earn respect', only returns respect to yourself.

The BlogBook, 'Women Creating Gay Children' http://creatinggaychildren.blogspot.com/, was created as a separate blog. This BlogBook is available for free to women who want to understand more about what she can to for the health of her child.

This BlogBook is NOT connected to the other Intersex blogs from that BlogBook, so that males not comfortable with sending females in their lives to 'Intersex/gay' related material can feel comfortable.

The Gay Rights War......What is it good for?

The battle continues all over the world. One group of people fight for their rights, and another group rejects those rights. But why is this happening........what are people really fighting for........what are people rejecting?

As people all over the worked on an ongoing basis, there is a protest here and there about obtaining their rights. The right to work, the right to be paid a fair wage, the right to eat, the right to believe in their own religion, the right to be treated with humanity, the right to survive.

However, those who fight for 'Gay Rights' tend to be seen as fighting for no more that a right for sex and sexual activity.

Again, you must try and take yourself out of the 'battle' and look at the situation objectively, because under the gay umbrella, the fight for gay rights makes so much sense for so many. Actually, any group that wants something from another group, can make a case for their desire that make sense, as long as they stay within the group. But once they come outside the group, the 'argument' begins to make less sense.

From the outside looking in, the whole 'gay rights' battle is really nothing more that 'civil rights', or the right to be treated equally. Well, why shouldn't people expect to be treated just like anyone else? For many reasons..

First of all, we live in a 'civilized' society. Our society has basic morals and values that are adopted so that we can maintain to be 'civilized'. Without basic morals and values common among the population, each person or group will end up defining what 'basic' morals and values are for that group, and our 'civilized' society is gone. However, we do have our civil rights, so that each member of our society are treated equal, or at least that's the working concept.

Then there is the constitution. But I will skip the constitution, since this issue expands further than our American borders.

So what's the battle all about then, and why such resistance from the larger general public? What are people really fighting for?

Most really don't know. When you ask a person why they are for 'gay rights', all they can come up is so they are treated like everyone else, or so that they can get married. But we have to ask why this battle is still going on when we have 'civil rights' already as a people.

So what are people really fighting for?

It's all about sex and sexual activity. Our society just as most civilized society has most of it's morals and values tied to the restriction of sex in many capacities. At the same time, societies provide 'institutions' where sexual activity is promoted and deemed necessary and purposeful. One of these 'institutions' is the 'religions' institution of marriage.

From a very basic concept, marriage is designed to 'restrict' the sexual activity of individuals to one committed partner, and the production of offspring. We can attach all the bells and whistles to it, bring in religious scriptures from all faiths, but as far as a component of our society, the basic concept of marriage is very simple and straight forward.

However, the concept of 'Gay Rights' has not made it past the foundation of sex and sexual activity, and so it will continue to hit the same brick wall that the majority of our society sees as it's foundation or what keeps our society together.

But what about civil rights, and equality?
As long as a group of people or individuals, use sex and sexual activity as what 'defines' them as a group or individuals, they set themselves up to be rejected based on sex and sexual activity. So as long as a group or individuals continue to define themselves based on sexual activity or a lifestyle based specifically on sexual activity, there will always be majority resistance, as this contradicts the basic morals and values of civilizations throughout the world.

Why are so many people stuck in this never ending battle?
It seems to be their their own internal conflict. The 'gay' groups and their followers know that they are different. If that was not the case, there would be no need for the gay groups. However, in their effort to be seen as 'normal' to our society as a whole, the group must stand firm on the fact that there is nothing physically or mentally different about it's members, it's just that they have a same sex 'attraction'.

Now still committed to the concept that there is nothing mentally pr physically 'different' about the members of the group, they have recently and quietly added the 'Trans gender' members to the group.

But wait....wait..isn't there something mentally and physically 'different' about the trans gender members? Isn't there a documented medical 'condition' that these individuals are born with, that puts them in the 'transgender' sub-group?

And then there are the traditional full Intersex individuals. They have no conflict with identifying with their born gender duality condition. But the vast majority of the full Intersex individuals don't join the 'gay' groups. And they don't join the trans gendertrans gender sub-groups either. Why is that?

The answer seems clear...
The full Intersex group were able to free themselves from the 'gay' group, because they really had no choice but to accept their gender based condition. They could not help but accept it, because their Intersex condition was so extreme, and throughout their lives, they have had controversial and evasive surgery done to them. With 1 in every 2000 children born with a sever physical version of the condition, that they can't avoid the truth about their condition.

However, with the vast majority of those born with a more mental, or 'slightly' physical version of the condition, and the desire to be like everyone else makes the denial of their condition normal for most individuals with any condition.

But it's slightly, or as I refer to it as the low, medium and high levels of the Intersex condition, and it's denial, that seems to be at the root of so much conflict around 'being' gay and the desire for gay rights.

Now let's jump to a world where people never heard of the term 'gay'. Let's see what that might look like.

First, of all people with all levels of the Biologically Intersex/bisexual condition would be diagnosed as such. Or there would be more information available for people, so they understand their condition.

- There would be support groups for Biologically Intersex/bisexual people so they can get help dealing with the side effects and the battles that go on between the male and female aspects within their own mind and body. No longer would so many people be left to suffer from depression and self hate based on not understanding who they are.

- Mothers and fathers would understand how they are creating intersex children in the first place, so they can take very basic steps produce more gender single male and female children, and take more responsibility and care for the intersex children they bring into the world, so the child understand his duality in gender early on.

- Our society as a whole would understand the Biologically Intersex/bisexual condition more clearly, since most every family will have one or more Intersex people as a loved one.

- The concept of loving the same gender being a 'choice' would invalidate itself because being Intersex, a person is born mentally and or physically both genders.

- Having a more clear understanding of their duality of gender, Intersex people would be able to manage both aspects of their gender duality, and be able to maintain stable friendships and intimate relationships and marriage with the opposite gender or the same gender.

- Intersex people would then not have a need to feel their only option is to hide in a sub-group of our society, because this group would be a majority of our society, and no longer feel the need to buy into a lifestyle based on deception, sexual obsessing/addiction and body image obsession.

- Just like any individual in our society, Intersex people would find their purpose in our society, utilizing the skills and abilities only capable in Intersex people with a duality of gender.

Now come back to your reality.
Take a good honest look at the battle over 'gay rights and 'gay marriage'. Is the situation clearer for you now? Can you see the obvious conflict within the 'gay' community, that not only keeps people in denial, and from understanding who they really are and an opportunity for a more balanced life, but keeps them in conflict with themselves and with the rest of our society.

It's a loosing battle all the way around.

When it was never really about sex and sexuality at all.

It's really up to you....it's your choice. It's your future.

Who Said Attraction Had To Be Sexual?

So many Biologically Intersex/bisexual or gay males who have bought into the marketing concepts around the gay group, have created a distorted sexual perception about what a basic 'attraction' actually is.

Just because you are 'attracted' to something or someone, or they are attracted to you, does not mean that the attraction is 'sexual'. However, through the distorted perspective of many intersex/gay males, a desperate attempt to be accepted by others, or out of loneliness and a desperate desire for companionship, any and all 'attention' toward him, tends to be seen as sexual attraction.

This distorted view of 'attention' given, creates even more interpersonal problems for the intersex/gay male, because his response to 'attention' is based on a sexual attraction, which causes him to be rejected not only by other non-intersex males, but intersex males as well, who were only looking for friendship.

To help clarify what is happening, lets break down the concept of 'attraction' to it's simplest forms:

Attraction: The action of drawing a response or attention of another. You see, this definition has nothing to do with sex and sexuality. Most men are 'attracted' to cars, big trucks, flat panel TVs, electronics and natural beauty. In most cases, the males 'attraction' is based on something that he wants for himself. What he is attracted to, in most cases, it's what he wants for himself.

This does not mean he wants to have sex with the cars or electronics?
But he wants to own the car, or TV, or obtain the body image he finds 'attractive'.

Sexual Attraction: The only difference between 'attraction' and a 'sexual' attraction is a sexual bond with the subject. In most cases this bond is a manual bond created through marketing or by the masturbation behavior of the male.

However for the intersex male, by being to a certain extent mentally female, his female side will 'naturally' have a sexual attraction for other males. This duality in gender creates a challenge for the intersex male where he must:

1. Manage his male aspects basic attraction for objects,
2. Manage his male aspects attraction for feminine females,
3. Manage his female aspects basic attraction for objects
3. Manage his female aspects attraction for other masculine males.

When he allows his female aspect to dominate his male aspect, he becomes sexually obsessed with other more masculine males, which generally leads him to continue to lower his morals and values to do whatever it takes to have sex with the desired masculine body image.

When he tries to ignore his female aspect, she comes out when he least expects it, and sabotages his relationships with other females through personal attacks, or cheating on her with another male. This melodrama plays itself out on a consistent basis.

And the idea of giving up, and trying to see yourself as just a free 'sexual' being, only sets you up to becoming a promiscuous male, who in the end, neither male or female will want you in their lives in the morning.

So for the many intersex males who focus on who a person is based on their mind and spirit, you are on the right track. Becaue as we all know, if the 'attraction' is really only sexual, once the newness wears off, the 'attraction' is gone.

Truck Rentals...but not what you think...

Penis envy is common behavior among males. The concept of penis envy actually encompasses all aspects of another person that's admired by another person. But the concept of penis envy is not only related to males.

What's different about BiologicallyMentally Intersex/bisexual males is that the penis envy, is not just about a male 'admiring' another male. Since he is mentally both male and partially female, his female aspect gets into the picture. What's important to mention that many of the higher intersex males, tend to have no sexual attraction at all, for males or females.

However, with the natural female, it's not just 'admiration' but her 'natural' attraction for the male. This is what creates so much of a conflict between the intersex male and his female aspect. He has an admiration and she has a sexual attraction. So how does he react?

Most males think that just because he gets aroused when looking or thinking of another male, that it's all him at work. This is just because he is unaware of his female aspect at work. Many males early on are 'surprised' by their arousal and are confused by the reaction, because they never really felt they were sexually attracted to another male.

However, through the heavy marketing of the concept of 'being gay', and the mass marketing of more and more excessively muscular and naked male bodies to attract the female aspect, before he knows it, he's masturbating to those male images, and contemplating the envisioned sexual activity with other males. Before long, he has abandoned the sexuality of his male aspect, and allowed his female aspect to take over.

(This is a general audience site, so let's use the word 'truck'.)

Then the male aspect kicks in. While the female aspect is obsessed with seeking the truck of another male, his male aspect who eventually thinks that his 'truck' is better than many other male's trucks, and that every other male should envy his truck. Once he receives a complement about his truck, just like most males looking for validation, he tends to attach most of his value and worth on his truck. His truck becomes to a great extent, who he is, and primary to what he has to offer another person who may be in the market for trucks.

Many of these intersex males will say, no, that's not me. But if he would just think abut his marketing plan for gaining interest in himself. What does he put on display? What is he selling, and what are buyers really window shopping for when they show interest in him?

In some respects, this is the same for non-intersex males and his penis envy issues, however, the only difference is that it's females he is marketing to, and not other males. But the result is the same. His truck is only rented, because the potential buyer really has no trust in how it was maintained, or how many people rented the truck before they rented it, and who will rent it next.

Unfortunately, for many intersex males, renting his truck to strangers is all that he feels is available to him. His own attempts at relationships have failed, and not always because the buyer was the problem, but because he was obsessed with the business of renting out his truck. And until he is able to find value in himself as an individual, without depending on truck rentals for companionship, he is left to rent himself out, until he is traded in for a newer model.


BUYER BEWARE!!
If it's a rental, you better check the 'actual' maintenance records carefully with your own eyes. Because depending on how obviously desperate he is to rent his truck, chances are what's on the window sticker will not be accurate, and the many renters before you are 'guaranteed' NOT to have been safe drivers.

But with all that you know, and you are 'STILL' choosing to rent yourself out, or to drive a rental, BUCKLE UP!

What If It Was Never About Sex and Sexuality?

What if the same gender attraction many people feel was never about sex and sexuality?

What if being born mentally more of both genders male and female, was meant to enable a person to benefit from the attributes of both genders more fully than those who are more of one gender or another?

What if being born Biologically Mentally Intersex/bisexual or between both genders meant that men would benefit from being better nurturers and care givers to the many who need to be cared for and loved?

What if being born mentally Intersex or between both genders meant that women would benefit from being more logical and less emotional when those around them need their strength and guidance?

What if Intersex males are able to understand women more clearly, and are able to communicate more effectively because they too are partially female?

What if Intersex females are able to understand men more clearly, and are able to communicate more effective because they too are partially male?

What if Intersex men and women gained all the benefits of both genders that make them inherently more capable than those born primarily male or female?

What if Intersex men and women who are not predispositioned to have children of their own, are genetically best created to be single parents of children neglected by those only male or female?

What if Intersex men and women were born with more of the mental and physical skills and abilities of both genders as one?

What if Intersex men and women at all levels are here to help bring balance and understanding between men and women?

What if Intersex men and women at all levels understood how powerful they can be, if they only focused on harnessing the duality born within them?

What if Intersex men and women at all levels focused on educating themselves, and gaining knowledge across the social lines of what males and females are 'supposed' to learn or be good at.

What if Intersex men and women were actually the future of the human race?

But, what if Intersex men and women threw that all away by buying into the idea that they are only sex and sexuality, and define themselves as such(gay)?

But, what if Intersex men and women chose a lifestyle based on physical sex and sexuality and not focused on their very special mental attributes?

But, what if they let others more lost then themselves, bring them down, even below mer males and females....who knew all along the power within them?

Then again.....what if you decided to take back your birth right and learn to balance your duality in gender, and expand your dual consciousness beyond anything single gender males and females can imagine?

What if you focused on becoming the full potential of who you were born to be?

What if you did just that....

What if....

What Does Gay Failure Look Like?

Many men in particular are suffering the long term effects of choosing to live a gay 'lifestyle'. We all see this expressed in the media, in the news, and those more connected with the gay 'community', you see it in the clubs and on the internet.

When you see these 'gay' males, often times you might reject them immediately based on his overt sexual activity and desperate attempt to look 'different'. They seem to focus on looking different than everyone else as if to reject the rest of our society, but at the same time, seeking to be accepted by that same society. But in the end, they still look like all the rest......trying to be different......trying to be themselves.

You ask yourself why would anyone do that to themselves on purpose, and then you may feel sorry for them.

Why does he modify his appearance so he is rejected by others before they even meet him?

Why does he reject basic morals and values of his own society the he grew up with?

Why does he offer himself for all types of sexual activity with strangers?

Why does he seem obsessed with males more masculine than himself?

Why does he seem obsessed with his own body image?

Why does he exaggerate his female aspect?

So maybe it's time for Intersex/gay people to talk to each other, to talk about the problems they are having, and to focus on better life choices.

Maybe it's time to take steps to help yourself? Maybe it's time for the older Intersex/gay males to understand that they set the example for younger intersex males who are born into their small minority.

Maybe it's time...

So You Just Want To Be Tolerated?

Have you noticed that what goes hand in hand with the gay groups very strong rejection to the concept of 'judgement' of others behavior, is that they also must settle for only being 'tolerated' by the rest of our society, and even members of the gay groups/community, but never even ask to be respected.

There are a few primary reasons why this may be:
When you think about the many beliefs and sex based activities that a person must adopt and participate in to justify living a stereotypical gay 'lifestyle', even other 'gay' people find it difficult to respect one another. So it's really pointless to ask the rest of society outside the gay 'community' to provide any more than a tolerance for the chosen lifestyle. Remember, it's not about the people, but about their chosen actions.

The whole concept of 'non-judgement' seems to be clearly connected to an attempt to justify a lifestyle based on non-productive and overt, promiscuous sexual behavior.

Not all BiologicallyIntersex/bisexual or gay males and females have chosen to create a lifestyle based on sex and sexuality. However, the vast majority has and they tend to represent all Intersex/gay people in the media, and in the eyes and minds of the general public.

The reality is that the promiscuous sexual behavior erodes even the gay 'community' from it's core. With the idea of 'accepting' another persons efforts to have overt promiscuous sex with other intersex/gay males or females, who are in relationships or married, little do they know, that their relationship will be targeted next by another promiscuous Intersex/gay person.

Many try to blame our societies rejection of their behavior on religious beliefs. But that's far from the truth. Being rejected as a whore or prostitute has never been the sole domain of religion. Even animals in the wild that mate in pairs, don't allow sexual promiscuity, it's only the pack animals that breed with random females to populate the pack. However, with promiscuous intersex/gay men and women, there is no desire or ability to naturally create offspring, so even the pack concept is not justified.

But based on the 'non-judgement' concept of the gay community or gay groups, this is acceptable and promoted behavior. The only option for Intersex/gay men and women to deal with 'accepted' sexual promiscuity, is to adopt 'open' relationships.

'Open' relationships have become quite populate. More with male same sex relationships than with females. This way the restriction cheating or having promiscuous sex with anyone you want, even if you are 'supposed' to be in a committed relationship with another person, is OK.

But the cost to their partner is great. The mental issues of lowered self esteem, lack of confidence and self worth in themselves, and feeling they are being pulled into a lifestyle that they never expected to participate in. So his 'options' are to (1)go along with the concept of an 'open' relationship, (2)reject it and know that his partner will be cheating on him anyway, (3)or break up with his partner, knowing his chances for finding anyone else that he would want a relationship with, and who is willing to commit to a monogamous 'relationship' with him is very slim. And the older he becomes, the slimmer his chances become. The more desperate he becomes. The more he is able to 'justify' to avoid being alone.

Now really think about this issue and where the problem began.
Could it be that the failure of many same sex relationships is not because neither party wants their relationship to fail, or is unable to commit to one another. But it may be because the 'gay groups/community' promotes, accepts and encourages intersex/gay men and women to be sexually promiscuous.

Through the consistent rejection of the concept of one Intersex/gay person placing judgment against very basic negative and socially immoral behavior that violates their own core beliefs. Behavior that is guaranteed to come back and impact their own life in a negative way.

The long term result for either person is a loss of one self. By letting go of his own basic morals and values and the ability to earn respect of himself and of others in his society, all to accommodate another. He ends up participating in activity he finds difficult to acknowledge, or admit even to himself, because if he did, he would have to figure out a way to forgive himself, and rebuild his moral foundation, his self worth, his values, his self respect, and his life. But he can't do that while still hiding under the gay umbrella.

So maybe it's time to speak your mind about what you believe as an individual, and not try to hard to fit into the collective gay groups/community. OR.... do you fear placing judgment on the promiscuous behavior of others, because you are doing the exact same thing???

What's DL Really All About?

The term DL or Down Low is nothing new. This well marketed term is just another way of saying 'Bi-Sexual'.

Being bi-sexual is not a race based concept, but only a Biologically Mentally Intersex/Bisexual issue.

The challenge for the bisexual/intersex male is that when he tries to maintain a relationship with a female, his female aspect sabotages himself due to her 'natural' attraction for other males.

He really has two options:
1. Date women or marry a women, and deal with the guilt of cheating on her with other males to meet the needs of his female aspect, while putting her health at risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

2. Let his female aspect take over, and live an unhappy life alone masturbating with other males, when he all along, he really wants to be with women.

Many choose a variation on both options, sometimes dating women, and sometimes having sex with other males...but the vast majority end up unhappy and alone.

Now the concept of the Bisexual/Intersex male is frustrating for many intersex/gay males. This is because these masculine males who are able to attract women, are exactly the males that their female aspect is 'naturally' attracted to.

This is the same concept at work, with the more desperate intersex males who offer themselves to be used for a sexual outlet to married men. Fully understanding that the married male will only use him for a sexual release, so he can go back to his wife that he loves.

And by these bisexual males having the 'natural' attraction for both genders, and not 'choosing' to commit to 'being gay' or reject his male aspect to have sex only with males, resentment tends to build within the committed 'gay' males.

Many 'gay' males think that 'everything' would be so much better for all 'gay' people, if all males who were naturally attracted to males and females, just choose to be 'gay'. That they would be accepted by our society, if only the masculine males would tell everyone they are gay too. But that's not never going to happen.

Why: Because the bisexual/intersex male is 'naturally' attracted to both genders to a certain degree that only he knows, and who he 'allows' himself to love or have sex with is the 'choice' of that individual. Just like it's a 'choice' who anyone else 'allows' themselves to love or have sex with.

Let me repeat myself: Just like it's a 'choice' who anyone else 'allows' themselves to love or have sex with.

So the obsession around DL males for the female aspect of the intersex male, is like one reaching for an apple that will always be out of reach. DL or bisexual males are not your problem, it's your life choices and who you 'choose' to be that has the biggest impact on your life.

'DL' Biologically Intersex/bisexual males are not your enemy, they are either lower level intersex, or have not let their female aspect control their male aspect like some males have.

It's all about choices....maybe it's time you thought about yours...

The Gay Alternate Definitions for an Alternate Lifestyle

This is a hot button topic for many committed 'gay' men and women. Very similar to those with extreme religious beliefs, it's much easier to blame the 'cause' of our 'actions' on something that is not within our control, so then we can't be held responsible. This tends to be another case where 'God' is to blame.


Most of the conflict and confusion comes from 'gay' men and women, choosing to adopt 'alternate' definitions for basic words in our dictionaries to help justify their position.


1. GAY: No human is born gay. Humans are born male, female and Intersex.


2. Homosexual/Heterosexual: This is a 'type' of sexual activity between two of the same gender. No person can 'be' a type of sexual activity.

3. Gender: Physical Male, Female, Intersex/bisexual(mix of male and female)

5. Gender Identity: The gender of a person from a mental perspective. Understanding that all fetus start at female, all males are a percentage female mentally.

6. Sexual Identity: Sexual identity is tied to gender identity. Physical gender does not ''naturally' dictate or influence gender identity or sexual identity.

7. Relationship: A state of affairs where two or more have a dealings. There are no boundaries to define the dealings between two or more parties.

8. Marriage: Two people committed to one another in a 'religious' ceremony, and bound by those religious vows.

9. Morals & Values: Codes of conduct for right and wrong agreed upon by a society.

8. Family: A group or persons living together or not, related by blood, marriage, union or adoption.

Here is where it gets sticky with many who choose to 'be' gay based on sex and sexuality. Many specifically males, tend to adopt the following behaviors as 'normal' or part of their chosen 'lifestyle', with very negative psychological results:

9. Whore: A person who engages in promiscuous sexual activity. Many try to call it 'fun' or 'entertainment', but it does not change the true definition.

10. Prostitute: A person who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for payment of some type, money, gifts, food, drugs, etc. Many times he will call himself an escort.

11. Sex Addict: A person who is enslaved to a habit or practice of sexual activity that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. This addiction tends to become the basis for a 'lifestyle' for many males who are focused on 'being' gay.

12. Body Dysmorphic Disorder: A pathological preoccupation with an imagined or slight physical defect of one's body to the point of causing significant stress or behavioral impairment, such as an obsession with modifying his body in a gym, or reducing body fact to an unhealthy level, which has a negative impact on several areas of life, including personal relationships.

With so much being sold to us on a daily basis. It's no surprise that the worst aspects of human behavior tied to sexual addiction and body image obsession, has become a lifestyle 'choice' for many, when the gay group promotes that lifestyle as 'normal'.

Those intersex men and women who are able to avoid or are strong enough to fight their way out of the 'lifestyle' are often times met with resentment by those committed to their lifestyle choices. They see this as a 'rejection' of their lifestyle choices, and are forced to look at the possibility that there is another option for them.

But sadly, so many have done so much to degrade themselves over the years under the concept of the 'gay lifestyle', they may feel that attempting to make a change in their lives, means they would have to admit the truth of their previous actions. For many, that's too much reality for them to take.

The Seven Laws of Male Homosexuality

1- Most Intersex/gay males are 'only attracted to other males more masculine than themselves.

2- Males they are are attracted to will not be attracted to them, because the more masculine male is 'only' attracted to other males more masculine than himself.

3- Who one male thinks is masculine, will think the other male is feminine.

4- Most feminine males don't think they are feminine.

5- There is no such thing as a 'strictly' dominate Intersex/gay male who is 'naturally' attracted to other males.

6- Every 'domonate' Intersex/gay male will be a 'submissive' for a more masculine male.

7- Strict submissive males almost always be cheated on my their 'domonate' male, who needs to be 'submissive' for his own dominatedominatedominate male.

This cycle will continue, until the Intersex male begins to understand how being born with a level of the Intersex condition is impacting his life.

Who's Hiding Under The Gay Umbrella?

You might be surprised to know that the gay umbrella is a hiding place for most anyone with any sexual difference, gender difference, dysfunction or disorder outside what's considered the norm in our society.

Initially the gay umbrella was a place for prostitutes, whores and those who felt they were sexually free. Hence the word 'gay', which still means happy, free, joyfully, etc.

Later more Biologically Intersex/bisexual people who felt disconnected from our norms of male and female, found that the gay umbrella was a place where their gender differences were not a point of rejection, but they were accepted based on being different.

As time went on and more intersex people based on gender and sexuality choices, choose to hide under the gay umbrella, sex and sexuality the identity of the group, even though not all participated as freely in sexual activity.

Today, the gay umbrella has become home for anyone with any type of Intersex/hermaphrodite condition, gender difference, gender confusion, sexuality difference, sexual obsession, sexual addiction, low self esteem issues, those rejected by the opposite sex for once reason or another, males with genitals too large for the comfort of most women, or too small to satisfy most women. Women who are unable to feel stimulate vaginally, or other vaginal issues, sexually abused, those with body image issues, the promiscuous, etc. There is a wide range if causes.

It's not that all people who hide under the gay umbrella fit all characteristics, and not all characteristics are a bad thing, but one or more tends to fit all that find a need to hide under the gay umbrella. There are millions of men and women hiding under the gay umbrella who live full, complete and respectful lives in our society.

Unfortunately, they are being weighed down by the group identifier of 'gay'. Many because they don't feel connected to the rest of society, so they hang on to the group identifier 'gay', even though that group identifier and the sex based activity of many in that group, is what continues to devalue their own self worth in the eyes of many in our society.

So it may be time to ask ourselves if it's healthy to try and group so many people, with so many different needs, under one umbrella, and treat them as if they are all the same? Does it make more sense to try and understand the reason's 'why' you have a need to hide under the gay umbrella, and deal directly with those issues?

Also, by attempting to 'accept' anyone with any and all types of sexual/gender issues without offering help for that person, is it doing more harm than good? The highest suicide rate, drug addiction rate and death from sexually transmitted diseases answerers that question for us.

The worst thing is that many people are conditioned or brainwashed to think 'gay' is who they are. And never realizing that it's a choice quite the same as being democrat, independent or a republican. Instead of really understanding who they are as an individual, the easy choice is to hide under the gay umbrella, and make that their identity.

So maybe it's time to evolve past a default 'group' identifier such as gay. Since no person is born gay, but only choose to hide under the gay umbrella. Maybe it's time for individuals to learn to be individuals, and not a gender, not a group of sexual activities, not a 'cause'. But an individual.

Here is a test: Ask someone you know that identifies as being 'gay' to tell you 'who' they are. Ig gay is their first answer, the rest will be a struggle. Then ask them to tell you who they are, without discussing sex and sexuality. Now ask yourself.....

The Negative Impact of the Internet on Gay/Intersex Males

The Internet is a wonderful tool. It helps to educate and expand knowledge and ideas around the world. However for many gay or Biologically Intersex/bisexual males, it has become their worst nightmare.

Before gay/intersex people used the Internet for commercial and personal porn and prostitution, the 'options' for males to degrade themselves in a large forum was minimal. They had to be published in a gay publication, or market themselves in gay clubs as they travel across the country.

Today, many gay/intersex males are enabled by the Internet, to expose and degrade themselves to a world wide audience at the click of a button. This ability to degrade themselves on the world wide web, has had a negative impact on the lives of many of the intersex males around the world.

Has the use of the Internet done more harm to gay/intersex males than they realize?

Intersex males being both mentally male and female already struggle with balancing both aspects of themselves, whether they understand what's happening or not.

With the massive flow of pornographic images of other intersex males, this has a much more negative impact on the intersex male, than it would a non-intersex male or female.

This is because the intersex male is both male and female, being both male and female, is challenged by images of males who are more masculine or muscular or more endowed than he is himself. However his female aspect begins to set her expectations of a masculine male based on those Internet images.

The result over time is that the male becomes more insecure about his own masculinity and body image. This is because his female aspect begins to reject his male aspect, and becomes attracted to the more visually masculine male image from Internet porn.

The male responds by an obsessive attempt to gain more 'simulated' masculinity through body image modification in gyms. This attempt to meet or exceed the body image desire of his female aspect is a never ending battle. Because as he continues to view the never ending stream of more masculine and more muscular or more endowed male images on the Internet, he continues to feel even more insecure and obsessed with achieving the image of greater masculinity.

This is why you see so many over muscular gay/intersex males in gyms all over the country and even the world, that are in competition with their own female aspects, and are still consistently rejected by the naturally more masculine males his female aspect is attracted to. Not understanding what's happening, these males reject males who are 'as' masculine as they are, with a blind obsession for the 'simulated' physical masculinity created by body image modification.

Their frustration turns anger, and then depression and defeat as many begin to justify their downward slide of their own morals and values, blaming it on the 'gay community' or that it's what they have to do to get attention from other gay/intersex males.

Relationship attempts fail consistently, since the 'attraction' to exaggerated masculinity and the obsession with body image, and body image modification becomes their foundation for a desired mate. Which never works short or long term.

So it seems that for most gay/intersex males, this all starts with Internet porn. Without Internet porn, he would not have the access to so many naked male bodies to create the exaggerated expectations tied to body image that put him so deep into conflict with his female aspect.

And sadly, the result is that no matter how respectable a gay or Biologically Intersex/bisexual person focus on being, once he focuses on 'being gay', he will be tied to the weakest link in hiding under the gay umbrella.

So what's been your experience?

Why Base Your Life On An Already Failed Plan?

Could it be that many gay or Biologically Intersex/bisexual males justify their sexual promiscuity by mirroring bad life choices of those who are not gay/intersex?

It seems consistent that when gay/intersex males are challenged about overt sexuality and promiscuity, their response is tied to overt and promiscuous non-gay/intersex males.

It's clear that the #1 cause of failure in male/female relationships and marriage is money. The strong second is infidelity. It's unquestionable that once a person looses 'trust' in another person, they can no longer maintain a 'trusting' relationship with that person.

However, this consistent relationship failure based on infidelity or the failure to maintain monogamous between males and females, seems to be the 'basis' or justification for the lifestyle 'choice' of many gay/intersex males and their attempt at a relationship.

Many try to see sex as 'fun' in an attempt to push their promiscuity and infidelity into the 'entertainment' bucket, trying to disconnect the 'behavior' from the committed relationship he desires with another male.

Even when he is able to refrain from promiscuous behavior for a short while, and is able to enter a relationship with another male, he is simply not able to maintain that monogamous relationship. Many males are pushed into an 'open' relationship by their chosen mate, in an effort to maintain their 'idea' of a relationship, while his mate continues to have sex with other males.

Sadly, the justification consistently falls back to the promiscuous behavior of non-gay/intersex males, who are not able to obtain and manage a trusting monogamous relationship or those married males who cheat or where in failed relationships with women.

Many try and use the concept that relationships are 'different' and that their definition of relationship which allows sex outside the relationship works for them. However, the reality is that the one being cheated on, and who allows that to happen, must choose to lose more and more of his self respect, knowing that he is 'allowing' his mate to openly cheat on him. This is not something he tells his friends or is proud of. Because being cheated on only bring shame on a individual, no matter what gender the other person is, and especially if they allow it to continue.

Another reality is that the cheating tends to be 'test drives' for a replacement, since who he choose to mate with, is really not who he wants to be with. Which is very clear by his partner's continued search for another person to mate with.

Why is this happening? What could it be that causes many gay or Biologically Intersex/bisexual males to put themselves on a path of guaranteed failure, when at the same time, are desperately looking for a trusting and lasting relationship? Could the one being cheated on let this happen to them because they know the chances of them ever finding another male to enter a 'relationship' with in the future is not that good?

Would you 'allow' this to happen to you? Are you allowing this to happen to you? If so.....why?

Should Gay/Intersex Males Be Treated As Females?

Could it be that the mistake that gay/Biologically Intersex/bisexual males have with each other, is that they try and treat each other as if they were only males? Since it's his female aspect that is attracted to the other male, by responding to him on a more male level, his female aspect is ignored. But when he is treated like a female would expect to be treated, he feels respected by the other male.

Unfortunately, when the gay/intersex male is in conflict with his own male and female aspects, he gives off conflicting messages to a potential partner such as:

- He claims to be dominate in the relationship, but his female aspect takes over and makes him submissive.

- He wants the stability of a trusting and secure relationship, but his male aspect is focused on the physical and immediate gratification.

In each case, when the gay/biologically Intersex/bisexual male ignores his female or male aspect and does not focus on gaining and maintaining balance, his life becomes an example of that conflict. No gay/intersex male started his journey with a focus on becoming promiscuous or resorting to having many failed relationship attempts, but until he steps back and looks at his life objectively, he will be doomed to repeat the same cycle, over and over again.

Any thoughts??

Is Gay 'WHO' You Are?

So could it be that so many males are superficial because they see themselves as a GBM, or GAY before any other aspect of themselves? Could it be that by trying to 'be' sex and sexuality, thats all he looks for in another person and is prepared to offer? And just like any sexual encounter, once he ejaculates, all interest in the sex 'object' is gone...

Well, it's obvious that once a person chooses to define himself first as 'gay', then his race, and finally as a male, this is a very clear subconscious message to himself that sex and sexuality is his primary focus.

With Biologically Intersex/bisexual males, his female aspect will ALWAYS be attracted to more masculinity than he has within himself, and his male aspect will be attracted to the physical muscularity that he wants for himself...he will be stuck in never ending cycle of being attracted to more masculine males, that will reject him, because he is naturally less masculine. And his male aspect will use the physical body, and once he ejaculates, he looses all interest in the body...and his female aspect is off to seek the masculinity she desires.

So until he learns to manage both his female and male aspects...the biologically intersex/bisexual male will forever be stuck in this self inflicted catch 22. What do you think?

Monogamy vs Open Relationships?

Now just try to think external of yourself for a moment. As in nature, all animals and mammals that couple or mate for life, when they do, their bond or commitment to each other includes that commitment of intimacy only to each other. It's only the pack animals that travel with a group of females that are impregnated to increase the pack.

With that said....why do you think that two males find it difficult to maintain a commitment that includes intimacy? Also, could it be that one male will have the 'choice' to have sex with other people, because his partner 'allows' it to happen? This tends to be the most difficult aspect of a 'union' for gay/homosexual/intersex males in particular.

What tends to happen is that the more dominate of the two will seek out sex with others before the more submissive male does. This is because no intersex males are both mentally male and female, and he must find his own dominate male to meet the sexual needs of his female aspect.

The result is that the submissive must either buy into the concept of an 'open' relationship, or risk loosing his 'mate', and with the reality of ever mating again, he either puts up with it or tries to justify it, knowing that either he is being cheated on, or he is being asked to cheat also.

Unfortunately, this inability for monogamy for many gay/intersex males is the strongest barrier that the rest of our society has against 'same sex marriage'.

The media plays up the religious angle, but the reality is that by 'condoning' marriage without the possibility of monogamy, it puts marriage itself at risk in the eyes of those who's marriage has a foundation is based on love, commitment and monogamy. And that's too bad, since so many same sex people deserve to be happy no matter who they love.

Just think about it...even if you tell a person you stole their car, you are still a thief. Even if you agree to cheat, it's still cheating. No matter how it's packaged. Any thoughts?

Why Expect Someone to Want You, If You Don't Want Yourself?

It could be said that males who seek other males have a hard time connecting with each other, because each male is looking to upgrade in one way or another.

Understanding that his female side will 'always' be naturally attracted to masculinity, this is a primary quality he looks for in another male. However, from a male aspect, it's the physical that attracts, which is no different for males who are attracted to females.

The disconnect comes in when the male exaggerates his expectations of masculinity for the other male. The higher bar being set only pushed them further away, based on the level of masculinity his female aspect is attracted to, and his own natural level of masculinity.

The side effect is that the male puts more focus on his physical body. Since this is the only aspect he is able to modify. He can't create more masculinity. However, by increasing his muscle mass to 'simulate' more masculinity, he is able to attract the male aspect of the Intersex male. However, the female aspect still rejects him because of the 'natural' and her exaggerated expectation of masculinity created through his consistent masturbation to body images of males more masculine or muscular than himself.

The end result is that the male rejects males just like himself, and becomes obsessed with males much more muscular and much more naturally masculine than himself.....the downside is that those other much more muscular/masculine males, are guaranteed to reject him. Because he will be seen as far less masculine, even if he 'simulates' more masculinity through a more muscular body image.

Many males don't see this playing out over and over again in their lives. They only see the consistent rejection, or males saying one thing and their female aspects 'doing' another. Most call it 'games'. But when you drill down, you understand that it's a catch 22, created when the expectation of another male based on masculinity and body image, is far greater than your own 'real world' level of masculinity and body image.

Check the other posting that talks about how to bring balance to your male and female sides. Once you do this...then you will begin to see males more 'like' you...that will give you a better chance at a balanced and lasting friendship and maybe more....

What Does It Mean To Be Gay?

Gay people will tell you that 'being gay' is not just about sex, but when you ask them what does it mean to be gay, the first thing they say has to do with sex and sexuality

- Some say you are 'gay' if you want to have sex with someone of the same gender.

- Others say you are not gay unless you have had sex with someone of the same gender.

- Some say you not gay unless you have had sex with someone of the same gender.

- Others say you are not 'gay' unless you only want to have sex with the same gender.

- Some say you are gay even if you have sex with both genders.

- Women who are attracted to the same sex consider themselves Lesbians. So would they be Gay Lesbians? Is there a non-gay Lesbian?

So here is the deal. Not one of the people asked stated they were 'gay' because the person they love is the same gender. However, people in lasting partnerships thought less about themselves 'being gay' but more about 'being in love' with the person that they loved.

So does this mean that the concept of 'being gay' and who you love have nothing in common? Is carrying the 'gay card' only useful as a justification for sexual activity until he or she meets his or her soul mate?

Test out this theory. Ask a 'gay' person who they are, and the first or second descriptive of themselves, will be sex or sexuality. Then ask the same person to describe him or herself without telling you about who they want to have sex with. It's gonna be a challenge.



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What Does It Really Mean To Be OUT?

Have you noticed that once a most males choose to be 'gay' and 'out', he tends to become less focused on being a whole respectable person, and more focused on rejecting our societies basic morals and values and use the 'out' concept to justify a lifestyle of overt sexual activity?

For many, could the concept of being 'out' only mean that he is choosing to put his sex life 'out' in the public domain, in the face of men, women and children who have no interest in his sex life?

If the focus is to represent that being 'gay' is normal and respectable, why is there little focus for many 'gay' males to be 'respected' by his society instead of only 'tolerated'?

Same Sex Marriage vs Gay Marriage

The ongoing conflict over same sex marriage may be more about 'how' people who are attracted to the same gender, are represented by the use of the Gay Brand, than about the individual themselves.

It could be that the 'image' that the general public have of members of the gay group or of the gay brand, is why our society does not want to imply that they approve are a part of that group. So their only option is to reject the group.

This is exactly the same situation that happens 'within' the gay group. Most masculine 'gay' males reject more flamboyantly feminine 'gay' males and do not want to associate with them, or be seen with them, because it would imply that he was 'like' them.

Most masculine 'gay' males reject more stereotypical 'gay' males who are focused on 'being gay' who tries to be 'individual, by modifying their hair, clothing, body art, etc and do not want to be seen with them, because it would imply that he was like them.

So just maybe the underlying issues around why so many members of our own society, reject the idea of 'Gay Marriage' is because the Gay Brand represents the overt sex and sexuality. It may not be a rejection of individuals, but a rejection of public sexual 'behavior' of many of those within the gay group that focus on being the negative stereotype of the Gay Brand.

Homophobia or Gayphobia?

I find it funny how in order to belong to the gay group, you must 'redefine' common terms and force yourself to reject the actual definition of the words.

Homophobia or the concept of a person being homophobic is an example. Understanding that a phobia is a 'fear' of something, and homo is the genus that includes human beings. This would mean a person would have a fear of humans. That makes no sense. Many use the term with the 'intent' that someone is 'anti-gay', but the term used has nothing to do with being 'anti-gay', but a fear of humans.

Now 'gayphobia or gayphobic' makes more sense. Since the terms would be relating to a person having a fear of gay people. But that really does not work either, since our society does not 'fear' many members of the gay group, but reject the marketed sex based lifestyle and activity.

So it seems that 'Anti-Gay' is the more accurate term to describe members of our society, who reject those who 'choose' to belong to the group/brand that promotes a lifestyle based on sex and sexual activity. Even though there are millions of respected men and women who are attracted to the same gender, who do not represent the negative image of the gay brand.

Women Creating Gay/Intersex Males

Understanding how biologically mentally intersex/bisexual male children are created in the first place, it only makes sense that if women only put more importance on the health of their unborn child during the first trimester less males would be born mentally or physically intersex. And many of those males would not find a need to hide under the gay umbrella.

The solution for limiting the number of intersex males born has everything to do with the mother being in a loving relationship. It's only during the first trimester that when she floods her body with estrogen when stressed(fear, bad relationship, single mother, too many children, unstable home life, mentally unstable, taking birth control pills while pregnant, etc), the male child does not get he testosterone he needs to fully develop into a male mentally and physically.

With so many children today are born intersex with gender confusion and end up hiding under the gay umbrella, the impact on our society something to take notice of. 1 in every 2000 children born today has a more severe physical intersex condition. Many more children are born with a mental version of the intersex condition, that is not noticed until early childhood and at puberty.

Females are in many ways suffering from the side effects of other women giving birth to intersex males. The lack of males for dating and potential mates has left over 40 million women over the age of 35 with less than a 15% chance of ever getting married. And their chance for marriage decreases each year, as more males are being born with higher levels of the mental and physical intersex condition.

Another impact women face is with low mentally intersex or bi-sexual males. Women struggle with relationships with these males, because with not knowing what's happening for sure, she knows something is wrong, but often times afraid to bring up the subject. Many marry low intersex males and pretend not to notice his sexual activity, thinking at least it's not with another women. Until HIV/AIDS becomes an issue.

What it boils down to is that women hold the key to their own future happiness and the gender identity of their male child. If they would just focus on maintaining a balanced and loving environment during the first trimester(two months), she will be able to reduce the chance of creating another intersex male, who will not be an option for another women's daughter.

Why Restrict Love?

Could it be that so many men and women suffer from so much loneliness, rejection and failed relationship attempts, due to the fact that he or she is choosing to restrict 'who' they are able to love based strictly on gender identity or on physical gender?

Just maybe the idea of a 'commitment' to 'being gay' or to only one gender, instead of the 'commitment' being with an actual 'person' you love and who has the ability to love you in return, is more of the issue?

What may be the issue is that for so long, people were told that if they were attracted to someone of the same gender, then they need to join the gay group or go hide under the gay umbrella. Unfortunately this only creates more issues for that person, because end up with a group all suffering from similar or worse problems, all looking for a solution in another person.

Unfortunately the box many people are in, is that they have modified their bodies or lifestyles to meet the 'stereotype' of what it is 'supposed' to mean to be gay. So many trying to be 'themselves' or expressing themselves as 'individuals, but they all end up looking the same stereotype. Never realizing that once you feel the need to 'be' an individual, you just lost who you really are and are now trying to be someone else's concept.

So what if you took a step back and re-evaluated your options? Asked yourself has the whole 'gay' lifestyle concept really worked out for you? Have you already cycled through all the 'gay people that you know? Are you recycling now? As many gay people do, many begin to travel across the country hoping to meet that 'one' gay male or female elsewhere. So much wasted effort when the 'person' or the 'one', may be where they are, but self imposed restrictions on gender identity and physical gender create a roadblock.

So ask yourself....Why are you restricting 'who' you are able to love, when you have so much love to give?

The Manual Sexual Bond

Biologically Mentally Intersex/bisexual males being born to various degrees both mentally male and female, have the challenge to balance both aspects of who he is. Denying his female aspect tends to lead to mental conflict and an attraction battle and eventual sabotage of his life in many ways to compensate. Denying his male aspect tends to lead to his female aspect dominating his life at the exclusion of his male aspect.

Low level intersex males where his males aspect has a stronger sexual attraction for females, than his lesser female aspect has for males, can have more control over his female aspect. However, even those with closer balanced male and female aspects are able to gain more control over their female aspect so their female aspect does not dominate their male aspect.


It's all about Masturbation
For the low level mentally intersex males, who have less of a female aspect, the primary action taken that enables his lesser female aspect to dominate his male aspect, is consistent masturbation and orgasm to media driven visual or mental images of males his female aspect sees as 'more' masculine male images. These are normally males who have girlfriends or wives and often times children. Many struggle and suffer great mentally pain in an attempt to control his female aspect or his 'desire' for more masculine males. But it tends to be a loosing battle.

Whether it's body images from the gym, television, magazines or porn on the web, the more the mentally intersex male masturbates and has orgasm to those images, he only reinforces his female aspects desire for male masculinity greater than his own. The result is his male aspect is lowered or deflated. It becomes as if he has not control over his actions. But there is a way for the low level intersex male to potentially regain control of his female aspect.

This situation is the same for mid level and high level of mentally intersex males. However, for the low level intersex males, he may be able to have a normal live with a female, by being able to manage his female aspect. For the mid level and high level intersex males, by managing and balancing both your female and male aspects, these males are able to better balance 'who' the female aspect is 'able' to be attracted to, so the masculinity and body image bar is not too much higher than his own natural level of masculinity.

It's all about Balance
Once the mentally intersex male stops masturbating to body images his female aspect sees as more masculine or more muscular than himself, this is the beginning of reseting expectations.

If the low mentally intersex male has a strong attraction for females, then if he needs to masturbate, he should focus on females his more dominate male aspect finds attractive. However, understand that his female has needs that must be met. So he must also masturbate to his own body image. This way his female aspect never needs to look for masculinity greater than her own male aspect.

If the mid or high level intersex male has a strong attraction for other males, if he needs to masturbate, he should focus on other males his own mental image. This will begin to reset expectations for masculinity for his female aspect more in balance with his own male aspect. Essentially reducing his female aspect from attempting to 'upgrade' based on masculinity of another male.

Being born with a level of the mental intersex condition is much like any born disorder that must be managed and balanced. I know that many people don't like to think of themselves as having a disorder. But putting all religions, political concepts aside, being born intersex is a condition just like any other that in many ways prohibits a person from normal reproductive function as a human being. However, just as any human, a happy and prosperous life is a right. However, the more we try to avoid the truth of the situation, the more it hurts the millions of people born with various levels of the mental Intersex condition.

Hiding under the gay umbrella for many only keeps them stuck in the same never ending cycle of pain and suffering.....trying to 'Be Gay', or be a sexuality.

The Masculinity Conflict

Males born with various levels of being biologically mentally Intersex/bisexual are impacted in ways that put him in conflict with himself. But the key to being born mentally Intersex is understanding that mentally, to varying degrees, he is both male and female. I discuss how this happens in a previous post.

The Conflict
Being born naturally both mentally male and female, but gender male, the stronger or more dominate mental gender aspect tends to want to take over.

For instance, females are naturally attracted to the masculinity of males. Since the mentally intersex male is part female, then his female aspect will naturally be attracted to the masculinity of other males. However, since he is both mentally female and male, his female aspect will naturally be attracted to masculinity 'greater' than that of his male aspect. Understanding that the female is naturally attracted to masculinity as she is feminine.

This internal conflict has an impact on the male aspect. What represents itself as low self esteem or low body image, may just be his female aspect naturally being attracted to masculinity greater than his own natural level of masculinity.

The outward representation of the conflict is his rejection by the 'more' naturally masculine mentally intersex males, who his female aspect is naturally attracted to, since the 'more' naturally masculine mentally intersex males female aspect is doing the 'exact' same thing as his female aspect. Both female aspects being naturally attracted to more masculinity that she has within 'herself'.

The response to his female aspects essential rejection of his male aspect, the majority of mentally intersex males will try and 'simulate' more masculinity by building abnormal levels of muscularity through consistent gym workouts. This only makes the situation worse, and creates even more conflict with his female aspect, and confusion between his female aspect and the female aspect of the other mentally intersex male.

Happens consistently as a result of the 'simulated' masculinity through body image, is that the female aspect is attracted to the 'seemingly' more masculine male based on physical attributes, and vice versa, but immediately rejects him based on his 'natural' born level of masculinity.


The End Result
The end result will be large groups of mentally intersex males, with muscular bodies, but an inability to 'attract' a naturally more masculine male. What tend so happen is he is either rejected immediately, or if the other male is horny or lonely, he is used for a sexual release, and rejected once he ejaculates. And his female aspect is then off to continue her natural search for her more masculine male.

I discuss how mentally intersex males enable their female aspect to take over in then next post...

Were You Born 'Mentally Intersex'?

Could it be that males who are attracted to other males were born with a 'level' of the Biologically Mentally Intersex/Bisexual condition?

Research from the 70's has shown us that since all fetus are initially female. During the first trimester, once the fetus is triggered to be male, the mother must provide a version of testosterone in order to complete the transformation of the female mentally and physically into male. However, if the mother is stressed during the first trimester(bad relationship, fear, too many children, bad living conditions, overworked, taking birth control pills during the first trimester when pregnant, taking estrogen shots, etc), she floods her body with estrogen, which blocks the supply of testosterone to the fetus that was triggered to be male.

The result after the first trimester is a 'level' of mental 'gender identity' male, with a 'level' of mental (gender identity) female remaining based on the lack of testosterone provided by the mother. The more Intersex the male child is, the less of a desire he will have to procreate with females.

What has received less attention in the medical community and in the media, is large and growing number of Mentally Intersex males. Due to their low levels of the intersex condition that impact their gender identity (hypothalamus), these males may be biologically male physically, but their gender identity is various levels of Intersex. Most don't know this and tend to hide under the gay umbrella with other people with various gender/sexual 'differences'.

For example: Low Level Mentally Intersex would be males who are more attracted to females, but still have an attraction to other males. These males tend to consider themselves as 'Bi-Sexual'.

Mid Level Mentally Intersex would be males who are to a lesser degree attracted to females, but are more attracted to males. These males tend to consider themselves 'Gay'.

Higher Level Mentally Intersex would be males who feel no sexual attraction for females, but are only attracted to other males. These males tend to also have more physical female attributes of the traditional Intersex or Hermaphrodite person.

Understanding the varying degrees of the Mentally Intersex condition, it becomes obvious why there is so much conflict and rejection between these males, since they are vastly different from a mental gender identity perspective.

I will talk more about the conflict in the next post...