Have You Been Bullied Into Being Gay?

It is not surprising that many of the males who contact me, state that much of the reason they bought into the gay lifestyle, and remain in the 'lifestyle', was because of their friends.

When you become adults, you might think that bulling that usually occurs in adolescence would have ended. But that's far from the truth, especially when it comes to something as personal as a person's identity.

In adolescents along with adulthood, if a person is not confident in themselves in aspects that impact him from a personal level, he will become susceptible to bulling in many ways.

This is why it is so easy for friends/acquaintances and others to bully so many younger and older males into the same 'gay' lifestyle that their friends have chosen for themselves.

And when you don't agree with their lifestyle choice, or you know it's not for you, you get attacked! It's as of you did something to them and they really go after you.

Common attacks are:

- You are just ashamed of who you are!

- You are just afraid to admit who you are!

- You are just lying to yourself!

- You are no better than we are!!!!!!

Anyone that understands the signs of verbal abuse will see that these 'friends' are only trying to break the person down, so they submit to their way of thinking or lifestyle. No matter what the risk to the individual may be.

But why is this happening?
Well, think about it. If you made conscious choices in your life that are greatly rejected by your family and your society, wouldn't you try to pull as many people on your side as possible? And if you know at some level that your 'choices' are not positive ones even for yourself, isn't it more comforting when other people are doing the exact came thing.

This way you are more free to continue that same 'chosen' behavior, because there is no one in your circle that will judge your behavior? Similar to why people don't like to drink alone, or do drugs alone, or kids don't like to act out alone...they need the validation of others 'like' them.

Is it a gang mentality?
It's really very much like gang mentality. Once you are in, you become the enemy if you want to get out. Guys that reject the idea of 'being' gay often times have to start over with a new set of friends. This is because once 'being' gay is not a focus, he really has little to nothing in common with his 'gay' friends.

When he thinks about it, all they did was have 'gay' discussions about why the rest of our society is wrong for not accepting the gay lifestyle, their dream long term relationship, talk negatively about other gay people, about other people they think are gay, and talk about sex and masturbate with each other or other people. That's pretty much it.

So many males want to get out of the gay group, but stay in due to fear and loosing the only friends/acquaintances he has. Because just about all his friends and acquaintances are in his life, because he belonged to the gay group and based on sexual desire and sexual activity.

Most of the guys I talked to that just had enough and wanted their life back, had to distance themselves from 'friends' and acquaintances who were committed to the gay group, who were focused on doing anything they can to hold them in the group.

Misery loves company
Much of the retaliation came in the form of spreading roomers about him to other gay people and any 'straight' people that he may know, to trying to 'out' him in public, in an attempt to scare him back into the gay group.

A lot of the guys stated that they ended up moving to other parts of the city or even other states to distance themselves from those individuals, and to have an opportunity to renew their life.

So much time and effort targeted at someone only because they choose the same lifestyle choice. But the reality is that the resentment is due to the other male having life possibilities that many committed to the gay group do not.

- The ability to earn respect from our society.

- No longer fearing judgment for his overt and promiscuous sexual activity.

- The greater potential for a lasting relationship or even marriage.

- The potential for a family.

So it's understandable why those committed to 'being' gay may feel rejected by anyone who does not want to belong to the gay groups.

Have you tried to escape from the gay group? What's been your experience?