Why Expect Someone to Want You, If You Don't Want Yourself?

It could be said that males who seek other males have a hard time connecting with each other, because each male is looking to upgrade in one way or another.

Understanding that his female side will 'always' be naturally attracted to masculinity, this is a primary quality he looks for in another male. However, from a male aspect, it's the physical that attracts, which is no different for males who are attracted to females.

The disconnect comes in when the male exaggerates his expectations of masculinity for the other male. The higher bar being set only pushed them further away, based on the level of masculinity his female aspect is attracted to, and his own natural level of masculinity.

The side effect is that the male puts more focus on his physical body. Since this is the only aspect he is able to modify. He can't create more masculinity. However, by increasing his muscle mass to 'simulate' more masculinity, he is able to attract the male aspect of the Intersex male. However, the female aspect still rejects him because of the 'natural' and her exaggerated expectation of masculinity created through his consistent masturbation to body images of males more masculine or muscular than himself.

The end result is that the male rejects males just like himself, and becomes obsessed with males much more muscular and much more naturally masculine than himself.....the downside is that those other much more muscular/masculine males, are guaranteed to reject him. Because he will be seen as far less masculine, even if he 'simulates' more masculinity through a more muscular body image.

Many males don't see this playing out over and over again in their lives. They only see the consistent rejection, or males saying one thing and their female aspects 'doing' another. Most call it 'games'. But when you drill down, you understand that it's a catch 22, created when the expectation of another male based on masculinity and body image, is far greater than your own 'real world' level of masculinity and body image.

Check the other posting that talks about how to bring balance to your male and female sides. Once you do this...then you will begin to see males more 'like' you...that will give you a better chance at a balanced and lasting friendship and maybe more....