Maybe It's Time...

For many who 'choose' a gay lifestyle or use the gay lifestyle to justify their sexual activity, their only hope is to be 'tolerated' by their own society and never really expect to be 'respected.

It's obvious that most males in general, don't wake up one day with the idea that he will all of a sudden, base his identity on sexual desire and activity. The idea of being 'gay' is attractive to many younger males born with a level of the biological intersex/bisexual condition, who feel they are different than other males, because they have less or lack a sexual attraction for females, and a slight or greater attraction for other males.

So what is it about the intersex/bisexual males that helps them choose an 'identity' that's guaranteed to make them targets of rejection from a large portion of society?

Well, without understanding 'why' he feels sexually attracted to the same gender, and with there being no credible answer available for him, he has a few options:

1. Make a choice as to what he wants out of life, and make choices relating to his sexual activity in balance with his life choices.

2. Try to deal with his sexual desires the best that he can, and have sex with both women and men, hoping that the phase will pass and he can then get married and have children.

3. Accept that he has no idea why he feels that he is attracted to females and males or only males, and seeks shelter in a group of male suffering from the same issues, but with no answers or a solution. Where he is told that he must accept his sexual desires as his 'identity'.

Unfortunately, many males choose option #3. Why? Even though by adopting an identity based on sexual desire and sexual activity, and knowing he may be rejected by his family, friends and society, the choice to choose the 'gay' identity tied to sexual desire and sexual activity, is less painful than not having an answer, any answer, for his sexual attraction for the same gender, or being accepted as part of a group at all.

That's a very difficult choice for many males to make. But at the same time, it seems clear to him that it's really his only choice. But the sad part is that not ever knowing 'why' he is initially sexually attracted to the same gender, his actions associated with his new identity and trying to live a gay 'lifestyle' only make his situation worse on many levels.

Not understanding that he is born with a level of the biological intersex/bisexual condition, he has no idea what is happening to him from a mental perspective. As his female and male aspect conflict with each other, his female aspect becomes obsessed with more masculine males than himself. At the same time his male aspect becomes obsessed with simulating more masculinity through obtaining the more muscular body image of other males.

For the less Intersex male, he will spend countless hours in gyms trying to obtain the body image of the male his male aspect desires for his own, and his female aspect will desire an even higher level of masculinity than he has within himself. The result is that the males his female aspect is attracted to based on the exaggerated level of masculinity desired, will reject him, because he will me less masculine than the female aspect desires within the other biologically Intersex/bisexual male.

If he is born more mentally and more physically intersex, he will be challenged to modify his body to the image his male aspect is obsessed with. The result is that the majority of the other more masculine, more muscular intersex males who's female aspect seeks more masculinity than his own, will not be attracted to the less masculine male. Because he is not what the other males female aspect is looking for, and does not have the more muscular body image his male aspect wants for himself.

In either case, the biologically Intersex/bisexual male is rejected by the male his female aspect desires, or us used for a sexual outlet, an then rejected. While the female aspect of the more masculine male continues his search for his more masculine male.

This entire cycle of same sex attraction, body obsession and promiscuity is what day by day, diminishes the males self esteem, self respect and forces him to reject basic morals and values of his own society to justify his actions based on sexual desire and sexual activity. Which for many, feel is out of their control. And to a great extent it is.

Understand that this is not the case for all biologically Intersex/bisexual males at all levels. Many have resisted the recruitment efforts of the gay groups, knowing early on that they were more that sexual desire and sexual activity. Many even though they 'identify' as gay, focus on staying outside the box, and are able to gain more balance between his male and female aspect, and are able to have stable relationships with women and men, and start families.

However the majority of the biologically Intersex/bisexual males, from those that identify as bisexual, or gay, or homosexual, or trans gender, remain stuck in the cycle of an obsession with a sexual attraction for the masculinity of another male, and body image obsession for the body image of another male.

These members of the gay group, the struggle with uncontrolled obsession with sexual desire, masculinity and body image, is at the core of why they fight so hard to be accepted, but settle only for being 'tolerated'. And are challenged with seeking to be respected, even from other biologically Intersex/bisexual members of the gay groups.

This is very sad and should not be as we enter 2009!!

So instead of fighting to be tolerated:

Maybe it's time to ask questions.

Maybe it's time to open your mind, so you are able to understand more about the Intersex condition that is impacting your life so much. (Intersex Society of North America isna.org)

Maybe it's time to reject choosing to BE sexual desire and sexual activity.

Maybe its time to stop hiding under the gay umbrella and from the truth.

Maybe it's time to regain your identity as a whole, respectable member of our society.

Maybe it's time to learn about who you really are.

Maybe it's time to hold your head up high.

Maybe it's time to focus on harnessing the amazing skills and abilities born in you as a biologically Intersex/bisexual person of duel gender.

Maybe it's time to really gain an understanding of who you are as an individual.

Maybe it's time for equal rights as human beings and not based on sexuality.

Maybe it's time to love who you love, without restrictions on gender.

Maybe it's time to be happy

Maybe it's time to be free.

Maybe it's time for you.

It's time...