There is quite a bit of maintenance to keep the 'gay' engine running, or it starts to misfire, or may stall when you lease expect it, and leave you stranded wondering 'who' you really are.
Daily Maintenance:
1. Remind yourself many times during the day that you are gay
2. Locate someone else you 'want' to be gay, and identify them as gay also.
3. Get up late, show up late for work, get passed over for a project or promotion, get repremended for work quality, and blame it on the 'fact' that you are gay.
4. Dress in stereotypical gay fashion, with body modifications and hair styles to ensure other gay group members are able to identify you, judge you and reject you, and at the same time cause you to be rejected by the rest of the world.
5. Call people 'Homophobic' who you feel rejected by for any number of reasons. Whatever that is supposed to mean since 'homo = human' and 'phobi = fear', and no human is afraid of humans.
6. Constantly be on the look out for another male in the real world that you feel is more masculine and more muscular than yourself, who is guaranteed to reject you, so you have an image to masturbate to that day, evening or night.
7. Spend hours at the gym to lift weights in an attempt to obtain the body image of the more masculine and muscular males you masturbate to on a daily basis.
8. Make sure your home is supplied with magazines of males with more muscular body images that you wished were your own.
9. Post those more muscular male body images you want for yourself on the walls of your room or throughout your home, to simulate the idea that that body image wants to be with you.
10. Go on line for hours and look at pornographic images of naked males and body parts you wished were your own, and most that you don't. Chat with some of the desired body images, hoping they will call you, want to meet you, masturbate with you. But that fails, so you focus on finding one that makes a good masturbation image for the evening.
11. You are not able to meet the masculinity or body image you desire, so you must blame the 'other' gay males for not wanting you, and the other non-gay males for not being gay. Then you must blame society for not accepting your lifestyle choice. Other people become the reason why you are alone and unhappy with your life.
11. Masturbate and go to bed.
Now that's a whole lot of maintenance trying to be something that you are not. And each step of the way, there is guaranteed failure based on the fact that the obsession for the masculinity and body image of another male is a manual one created by habitual behavior.Once you understand that being born Biologically Intersex or Bisexual, was never about sex and sexuality, but about the ability to harness the creative power that gender duality provides you.
Your obsessive masturbation to more masculine males with body images you wished were your own, force you to manually restrict 'who' you are able to date and who you are 'able' to love based on gender, masculinity and body image, which only leaves you the option to try and 'simulate' the relationships that humans are meant to have with each other. Which never works.
Biologically Intersex or Bisexual people naturally have 'more' opportunities for love and relationships because they are 'able' to love other humans of both genders, and not biologically be restricted to looking for their soul mate, their life partner, or their love based on gender.
Open up your possibilities......learn to 'commit' to a person, not a gender.
How about giving yourself a chance at the life you struggle so hard to achieve, but continue to sabotage. Whether it's with a male or female.
Take the 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge. You have nothing to lose, and your future to gain.
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