Relationship Roles and Purpose.....

Men complain to me and each other on a constant basis about not being able to obtain and maintain a stable relationship with another male. Even when they have balanced and resolved or are not impacted by the issues of masculinity obsession, body image obsession and porn.

But what these males may not understand is that they are dealing with the same issues that has created the failure of close to 50% of opposite gender relationships/marriages.

It's about ROLES:
For any 'relationship' to sustain itself, both parties must have a defined role to play in the relationship. Whether it's a business relationship, a team relationship or personal relationship, there are two definite roles that must be played. If not, the relationship will fail.

Those two roles are:
1. Leader, provider, security
2. Support, maintenance, back up

In every case whether it's in business, teams or personal relationships, if you don't have members performing either of the two roles, there will be failure. By ignoring these basic rules, is where same gender and opposite gender relationships set themselves up to fail.

It's all about PURPOSE.
For example, let's look at the failure of opposite gender relationships. The 'balance' in those relationships was tied to each person having a 'purpose'. The male was the provider and the female was the support. What this offered was a balance between the two, where one is not overstepping another's role and coming into conflict.

But what we have today is that women have decided or have been forced due to economics to take on the full time role of provider and as a part time job, take on the role as support. Which puts her in conflict with the male, as he now has no role of his own to play in a relationship with her.

The result is he will leave her or cheat on her for another women who 'needs' him for support and security, and the provider wife/women he is in a relationship with or married to never understands why he would do such a thing.

This failure is because the female is now in 'competition' with the male for his role as a male in the relationship. If he is not the provider, he has no purpose in the relationship. No matter how much he loves her, or his children.

This works the same way for same gender relationships:
Unfortunately, primarily males who seek or are in same gender relationships tend to adopt the failed mindset of the provider women/wife, who actually 'require' the other male to be in competition with him. Not knowing what he is doing, he is only setting himself up for failure.

He does this by 'requiring' the other male to have his 'own' home, apartment, car, money, job and is able to support himself fully, before he is a viable candidate for dating.

But what this 'requirement' creates is an undercurrent of conflict between the two males, and keeps them from ever becoming a union or true partnership.

What the two males are doing is requiring the other to take on the role of provider in the relationship, and no one is willing to support the other, or is 'allowed' to take on the support role that's critical for any 'relationship' to be successful. So they remain in conflict for money, things and power in the relationship.

There are a few reasons for this:
1. The vast majority of same gender bisexual relationship roles are mistakenly defined by 'sexual roles' (top,bottom,vers), which throws off the overall role balance in the relationship. Because the provider or support can participate in any sexual 'activity' or take on any sexual role.

2. Since many males and females tend to jump into same gender 'committed relationship' concept quickly, before they even know the person, there is a high failure rate, and they are not willing to take a financial risk on someone they don't really know.

3. Many who start same gender relationships, really don't realistically see a lasting future with the other person, but only a limited time relationship, stack up another 'EX', before they start their next relationship. So there is no real commitment to the relationship.

4. Since there is no legal binding contract between the two same gender individuals, anyone taking on the support role is depending on the provider on faith.

Conclusion:
So even after you have resolved your obsession with more masculine and more muscular males through your 10 Day Sex Detox Challenge, and finally regained your balance as a biologically bisexual person who is mentally male and female, before you start to seek out another person for a relationship, it's best to 'first' decide what role you are looking to play in a relationship.

Because if you are focused on being dominate in the relationship, you need to be able to step up as a man, and be a provider and make that clear to your mate. If not, you need to step down.

If you know you are less dominate and more comfortable in a support role, make that clear up front to a potential partner, and get clarity on where he stands, so you are not stuck in conflict.

If you know you are more balanced and seek to be both dominate at times, and more of a support person, seek out another male that feels the same way, so that you can compliment each other. But make sure both of you are clear on this from the start, so you don't create conflict in the background, that keeps you apart.

Share your stories.
How has relationships based on sex roles worked or failed for you?
How do you feel about financially supporting another male?