The Commitment Agreement

Could it be that the many Biologically Bisexual males have such a hard time with Friendships, Dating and Committed Relationships is because they skip over the friendship, in a mad rush for the Committed Relationship?

What these males don't realize is that they are NOT like a single gender male or female. So they can't use a single gender male or female model to try and build a friendship, to date or to establish a committed relationship with another Biologically Bisexual/Duel Gender male.

Here is why:
Being born biologically bisexual, you are both mentally male and female to some extent. And with your duel gender birth, you must learn to balance both your male and female aspects as it relates to natural attraction, skills and abilities.

For instance, if the biologically bisexual male does not balance his female aspect, 'she' will begin to dominate his male aspect, become obsessive about more masculinity than his own and reject his male sexuality and take on a more female or submissive role sexually.

This is counter productive, because the other biologically bisexual male is also both male and female, and to some extent, his female aspect will naturally seek the masculinity of a male to be submissive with. This does not mean intercourse, but submission in whatever way it works for the male.

The end result is that either bisexual male will continue his search until he is able to have the needs of both his male and female aspect met, from a sexual and mental perspective.

The Friendship
This is why focusing on establishing respectful and trusting friendships or male bonds, with other males is so important. This male bond is what's necessary to to maintain the relationship between the two male aspects of their duel gender identity. Along with male bonds with any other male that's not duel gender.

What's just as important is the respectful and trusting friendship or female bond between their two female aspects. Along with female bonds with any other female that's not duel gender.

Remember, neither of those 'bonds' include sexual activity, it's about 'connecting' with males and females on a mental level, where you common interests, morals and values are in balance. Connecting with 'people' that you 'admire' for their minds, thoughts and ideas, and who help you expand and grow your many 'duel' talents and abilities as a duel gender male who is to some extent both male and female mentally.

This friendship bond component is very important, because without this in place 'before' you think about 'dating' another duel gender male, you won't have a 'foundation' to base your potential relationship on, besides base sexual attraction and being horny.

That is why it is important to seek 'friends' not based on their sexual preferences, whether they are biologically bisexual or single gender of male or female. But choose friends based on common interest and basic morals and values. What grows from this respectful and balanced friendship is the potential for dating. It takes months of consistent contact for this to happen, not days, weeks or hours.

Wating to have sex should not be a 'challenge' if the respect, trust and mutual interest is there. But if either of you cannot' wait at least a month to have sex, then you should know that the friendship concept, is only a pathway to another sexual partner. Who will soon loose interest and begin to seek another sexual partner.

Dating:
Only after you have established a respectful, trusting and balanced friendship bond, only then if there is interest on both parts, should the idea of dating come into play. Remember, it's not a one sided event. Just because you are 'attracted' to another person, it doesn't mean they are, and your 'advances' could turn the other person off.

However, if you spend the valuable quality time to get to know the person and there is a natural bond between the two of you, male or female, then you have more of a foundation that can handle a sexual advance that is not reciprocated. If open honesty is the core of your 'friendship' with the other person, they would respect your honestly about dating.

Committed Relationships:
Only after considerable dating and a very clear and often times written agreement of behavior and commitment, would you want to embark on a committed relationship with another person.

The biggest mistake many duel gender or single gender men and women make is the lack of 'clarity' before embarking on the committed relationship.

One major issue is that without clarity, and even a written 'agreement' between the two of them, that spells out their intentions, what's acceptable and what is not, in plain words, the 'idea' of the committed relationship could be vastly different between the two parties.

Even taking the time to create a Committed Relationship Agreement helps the two individuals walk through aspects of their relationship between each other, that they might not think about heading into a relationship.

For Biologically Bisexual males, some of the self destructive issues are:
- Is porn allowed for masturbation to 'other' male bodies than your mate?
- Do you continue to go to gay bars where the focus is to find a mate?
- Do you continue to work out in gyms where you continue to obsess over other males bodies?
- Do you allow access to gay porn and gay sex websites?
- Do you continue to have your sex buddies in your life?

Many of these issues are not thought about, but are at the core of why so many committed relationships between biologically bisexual males end.

A few other non sexual aspects are:
- Communication rules
- Decision making that impacts both parties
- Living arrangements
- Money matters
- Friends and their impact

Those are just a few examples to get you started with your agreements.

I would suggest writing it all out, making changes and additions until you both agree on the the core components. Let it set for a week, meet again and revise and update, then both sign the document, and both of you keep a copy of the document with your personal papers.

Manage Your Agreement:
Then at the one month mark, three month mark, six month mark and 1 year mark, pull out the agreement and revise as needed. There alwasy tends to be something that needs to be added or removed to make your committed relationship work. After the first year, you should have a well thought out and established agreement that's able to help you maintain your committed relationship for a lifetime.

Remember, committed relationships between two biologically bisexual/duel gender males are not supposed to have an expiration date. And more failed relationship attempts is not a good thing, but only stressed that you are making the same mistakes again and again.

Communicate:
It is amazing how important it is to communicate your expectations with another person, if they are to be part of your life.

Understanding that if you or your partner feels this step is too much trouble, or they are not interested, or don't want to go through the effort of writing everything down, then just maybe a committed relationship is not for you or the other male.

You never want to push anyone into a commitment with you, that they are not willing to do so freely, because in the end, only you will be interested in honoring the commitment.